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Riley Cooper Really Loves Uber

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With as many times we’ve seen pro athletes get pulled over for DUIs, and wonder why they didn’t spring for a car service, you’d think we wouldn’t also make fun of athletes for when they do the responsible thing and actually call a car. Well, you’d be wrong. Look, I’m glad that Riley Cooper is appreciative of his Uber. He just seems a little…too appreciative.

Like back in March when he used it.


And in May.


And October.


November (of last year).


December.


Now, I can’t remember for sure if Uber offers the option to tweet this as a pre-generated message after your ride is completed, mostly because I’ve never taken an Uber sober, but I prefer to believe that Riley Cooper is writing each of these out himself. He’s a simple man. No need for jokes, or colorful commentary, he just says exactly what he means. Uber gave him a ride, and he’s thankful for it. It’s refreshing in its simplicity, really.

Keep thanking Uber, Riley. And tell your friends. The only thing more stupid than getting a DUI is risking being suspended from your occupation for getting a DUI.

Well, that, and possibly killing someone. That’s dumb too.

Image via Instagram

[h/t @PFTCommenter]

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Randall J. Knox

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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