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Research Study Verifies That Men Look At Women’s Breasts Before Anything Else

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On Tuesday, a study was published which verified that men really do check women out. In other news, water is wet.

Seriously. The study, conducted at The University of Nebraska-Lincoln, enlisted 29 women and 36 men to “prove” what every person on planet earth already knows. It was published in Sex Roles, a research journal specializing in “research reports and review articles that illuminate the underlying processes and consequences of gender role socialization, gendered perceptions and behaviors, and gender stereotypes with a feminist perspective.” Since feminism is an extremely delicate topic, I’m going to avoid it entirely.

The study itself went like this: participants were hooked up to a machine that tracks where your eyes look. Why? You can lie on a survey and claim that you “always look at her face first,” but it’s difficult to program your brain to actually look at her face first if you’re used to looking straight at her boobs. Sorry, fellas. The eyes don’t lie.

Participants were then shown the same 10 photos of various women of different sizes. No photos of men were shown. The study concluded that men do, in fact, look at a woman’s chest, waist, and hips more than they do her face. The lead author does admit that part of the reason is instinct, since men may be drawn to shapely women for childbearing.

Here’s where it gets interesting: the results also showed that women also look at other women’s chest, waist, and hips more than they do each other’s faces. Apparently, women like to size each other up, and get a good look at the competition.

In light of this very interesting fact, I would respectfully ask the lady readers here to cut us men some slack. This study proves that you also stare at other girls in bikinis, short skirts, or tight jeans with judging eyes, so don’t be so quick to smack us and call us pigs just for a quick glance. The dude who stares and drools like a cartoon hobo or makes lewd comments in mixed company? Yeah, you can smack him. There is a lot to be said for discretion.

So, this is what the taxpayers of Nebraska and tuition paying students of UNL are funding these days — research studies of the obvious. Rumor has it that the upcoming studies will prove that the North Pole is cold, 50% of all health food really does taste like shit, and dudes with faux-hawks and highlights really are douchebags.

[via USA Today]

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Spaceman Spiff

Now a graduate with a few years of business "experience", Spiff didn't exactly turn into the interplanetary explorer extraordinaire he had hoped to become. Instead, he spends his days as a cynical desk jockey, moonlighting as a Contributing Writer for PGP and marching ever closer to the big 3-0, which has only fueled his transition from quarter-life crisis straight into thrisis.

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