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Remembering The Greatest Twitter Account Of All Time

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“I’m 28. I have a full time job leading urban kids (of all races) on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say. email: ghettohikes@gmail.com.”

That’s what the bio reads that belongs to the greatest Twitter account that has ever graced the Internet. With only 74 tweets spanning over 48 days, @GhettoHikes has managed to pick up 433,000 followers. Unlike many of the faceless parody accounts that you see with huge followings, the @GhettoHikes follower count has seemingly developed organically. He doesn’t appear to share RTs and springboard off the success of others. It’s simply funny as shit, and people have noticed.

The owner of the account, referred to as “Mr. Cody” throughout his timeline, wouldn’t post often, but when he did, he hit your timeline with the quotes of filterless “urban” kids that seemingly all had futures in stand-up comedy.

Some claim the quotes Mr. Cody posted were made up, or “fake,” but I don’t see it as all that relevant, if it’s even true at all. If he didn’t actually hear these little urban achievers talking about cuddling the fuck out of rabbits, bringing water from a waterfall back to a girl because “that bitch loves waterfalls,” or using the first AIDS kit because Leon thought he tore his rotisserie cuff, that means he was writing them himself. He gets credit either way. The tweets were all solid gold.

Then, just like that, Mr. Cody was gone. On February 22, 2012, he posted for the last time. Here it is:

 

 

The second anniversary of a world devoid of @GhettoHikes one-liners is only a couple weeks away. It’s not a time to celebrate, but we’re going to revisit the 10 best posts, in my opinion, from the greatest Twitter account we’ve ever seen.

My Top 10 @GhettoHikes Tweets:

10. Terry, the Ca-raaaaaaazy Gerbil

 

 

9. First Aids Kit

 

 

8. That Johnny Appleseed Mother Fucker

 

7. Sing Kumbaya or Some Shit

 

 

6. The Matin’ Seasons



 

5. Fuckin’ Orange Leaf

 

4. I’mma Catch Diabetes or Some Shit



 

3. Sheep Snuggie

 

2. Ssss Ssss… Scarin’ Bitches

 

1. Eatable Rabbits

 

Someone told me Mr. Cody made his triumphant return in the form of a new account: @GhettoHikesBack. That handle doesn’t deserve a hyperlink, because after 10 seconds of scrolling through his posts, you’ll see that he’s a fraud, an unfunny hack.

I hit up the email address posted in the real @GhettoHikes bio to ask for a quick interview, because I don’t just want answers–I need answers. I don’t expect a response, but I’ll let you all know if I get one. Why did he stop posting? Does he no longer lead nature hikes? Did he grow tired of Twitter? Is he in prison? Dead? Is he ever coming back?

I don’t know if he’ll return, but in case he does, follow him. It’s the greatest Twitter account of all time.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Dillon graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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