We all know Lefty isn’t afraid to speak his mind. His joke to D.J. the day of the Champions Dinner in Augusta was classic.
Phil: “We were walking down [No.] 1, and I just said, ‘So, what are your plans tonight?’”
Love it. You know he’s just warming up for Hazeltine.
So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that earlier in the season at the Honda Classic, Lefty implied how the Big Four today compared to Tiger in his prime is essentially the equivalent of any point man trying to be mentioned in the same breath as Steph. It got me thinking about ranking the Big Four — off the course.
So, how do you rank Curry, Russ, CP3 and Lillard with a set of clubs? I’ll give it a go.
4. Jason Day – Ellie, Dash, and Lucy are precious, but if your family is the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about your life off the links, then you’re dropped faster in this competition than the Bengals in the playoffs. Speaking of Ellie, I thought the “you didn’t protect your wife from Lebron” incident when they were sitting courtside was way overblown. But props to Ellie, she took the hit like a champ and took to Twitter to silence her husband’s haters. Good for Day for landing a very pretty blonde from the Midwest and having some of the cutest kids on Tour. Awesome for Day for getting back to that No. 1 after getting his first taste of it in the fall. Back issues, be damned. Regardless, I’m not going to spend too much time dissecting Day because he’d come in at No. 4 on literally every girl’s list. There may be a Big Four on the course, but off it it’s more like Allen, Garnett, and Pierce, so let’s move on from Wells Fargo and onto the Majors.
3. Jordan Spieth – As many girls that would rank Day No. 4, more would rank Spieth No. 1. But I’m going to get a different route, and it has nothing to do with hole No. 12. I live in the South, so I easily relate to the Longhorns, blonde-haired, blue-eyed appeal. I get a sports high when TV elects to show any interaction between him and Greller (please do that more often, CBS). His high school sweetheart is beautiful, cool and seems down-to-earth. He made 23 mil as a 22-year-old. His Feherty impression is brilliant. So Spieth coming in at No. 3 has more to do with how worthy No. 1 and No. 2 are and less to do with any of his shortcomings. (Because there aren’t any.)
2. Rory McIlroy – Something about him calling off his engagement (over the phone!!!) with tennis pro Caroline Wozniacki, who’s also tried her hand at modeling for SI Swim, is kind of a turn on (This fact I think this is a turn on is probably why I’m single). You know Rory was over her faster than the Heels out in transition. He was still soaking up his wins from the British Open and PGA Champ, saying F you to the doubters hating on his gym routine, all while finalizing details of Nike’s new “no collar” golf shirt, which is so sweet even old money might sign off on it. Not to mention that he’s already engaged to a beautiful American girl after less than a year of dating. That’s just SAVAGE. You have to feel somewhat bad for poor Wozniacki, who is a doll. Met her at last year’s Final Four when she came with J.J. Watt. Gotta give her props for that even though Watt is definitely not my type… but I digress. Wrapping up my case for Rory at No. 2 on this list is bringing up the fact he tweeted a screen shot of his invite to Baker’s Bay with the boys for #SB2K16. He just chose not go because he already had a trip planned to Barbados with his fiancé. FOMO? Hardly.
1. Rickie Fowler – I wasn’t a fan of Fowler for the longest time. Who was? I thought the flat-brim was douchey and still think that hair he used to rock under it was even worse. But the outfits (especially the Sunday orange tradition because I’M A MAN, I’M 40!) have actually made me more attracted to him as I’ve observed his genuine personality, noted the attractiveness of his former girlfriend acting nervous on the other side of the rope because her boyfriend is two-putting for millions, and seen his development as an elite golfer.
Winning the Players last year would have given most people license to go all Pop with the media after blowing (absolutely blowing) a tournament last year worse than Andy Reid manages a clock, but he was laughing at himself for it with the media afterward. Damn, attractive. He’s your guy’s guy off the course, and he’s self-taught on it. You can be flamboyant with a hint of obnoxious off or on the court, but you can’t have it both ways. Fowler has found that sexy balance that Cam has not. It’s extremely difficult to personify elite athlete-level confidence and “guy’s guy” demeanor all at once, and he does it better than Herbie in a booth on Saturday night. His ex that I referred to above is bikini model Alexis Randock. Game over. But, nah, I’ll keep going. He’s been linked to dating Lauren Barr, a contestant on last season’s Bachelor that showed herself the door because she wasn’t into the guy. Talk about flipping the script.
So, Fowler, you’ve won my heart.
Now close out of Snap for a hot sec, and go repeat as Players champ.
Who says we miss football?.