Do you have an ex that kind of creeps you out? Maybe not at the time, but now, looking back, was kind of a huge fucking weirdo?
We all have exes and they probably fall all over the spectrum. There is that weird, “we used to date but now we are totally cool and really good friends,” relationship. Conversely, there is the “if I see him/her near my apartment I am going to shoot them repeatedly with my parents’ handgun” relationship. I have both of these types of relationships in my group of friends, alone.
Some SOs say extremely strange shit. Here to highlight some of the creepiest stuff ever said in a relationship or ex-relationship is our reliable source on all things weird, Reddit.
‘You can’t love your cats, you can only love me’.
I told my ex-husband I wanted a divorce. He didn’t want a divorce. Shortly after that, a show came on TV about a man who killed his wife because she left him and he didn’t want to lose her. My ex-husband looked at me and said “See what happens when you leave someone and they don’t want you to go? That kind of thing happens all the time”. Creeped me the fuck out.
HERE WE GO.
I drove across the state to push my estranged spouse to file the divorce papers like he agreed to do. He treated it like a date, introduced me to his roommates as his wife, asked my advice on how to start new relationships, refused to let me leave when my ride showed up, and asked if he could still have sex with me. I noped out of there as fast as possible.
Divorces always go smoothly.
We were together for five years. When we broke up it got ugly and besides all the horrible shit that did happen, I was most freaked out by the threat.
“I’m going to talk to everyone you know, and everyone you work with, and tell them everything you ever said to me about them”
After five years of chatter and gossip people get to know you pretty well. It was like someone threatening to read my diary aloud to the whole class, except, y’know, with consequences beyond the realm of a six year old.
Pretty legit threat.
He always told me that if I ever get pregnant and refuse to have an abortion he would push me down the stairs to cause a miscarriage.
Father of the Year.
I had just turned 21. I’d been in an on again, off again, relationship for 5 years. I hooked up with a girl while at a party with work friends. I felt absolutely terrible but knew it was time to break things off clean with my girlfriend.
Her father was a well-respected member of a pretty well-known biker gang in Massachusetts.
After I apologized and broke things off she said, “For the rest of your life, you’re going to have to watch your back. I have eyes everywhere and one day your guard will be done and you’ll never see it coming.”
It’s been 9 years now and I still get uneasy when walking in certain places in Massachusetts.
You don’t fuck with Irish Catholic biker gangs.
He said he imagined shoving a corn cob up me in a cold room. Then asked what I thought of it.
That was different.
Gotta keep an open mind!
He “suggested” his dead wife’s clothes might fit me and I should try it. Kept telling me when we go to his place, he saved all her clothes and I should take a look and see. That was our last date.
And, uh, do you mind if I call you Carol, too.
I was making out with one of my exes when she leans in and whispers in my ear,
Round and round the town we go,
drive the trolley nice and slow.
If there’s trouble, give a yell.
[gently tugs my ear lobe] Ring the bell.
I miss her. She got me.
A+ Ex GF.
She forgave me for raping her… thing is, I didn’t rape her. We were at a movie, she started to give me a blow job, then she started weeping. I asked to stop, because that shit is creepy. She told me she “couldn’t” so my first blow job was essentially me quietly urging myself to come as quickly as possible. It was awful..
Forgiveness for things that never happened seems to be an ongoing trend in this thread.
Sleeping at this girls house after sleeping together for around six months. I ask her if she has an Iphone charger, she tells me they’re on top of her wardrobe.
As I reach and slide my hand across the top I feel a pile of what felt like jelly packets (english jelly, gelotine for americans). I recoil a little, grab a chair and look to see around 30/40 tied, used condoms in a pile. I freak out and ask her why she has used condoms hidden up there, expecting/ hoping for a response like “I don’t want my mum to find them” instead she looks at me with a deadly serious face and says..
So I can always keep a part of you if you leave me….
I got the fuck out of there after discarding of my collected man juice… Still gives me the creeps when I think about it!
There is just no way.
My ex told me “You should get in car accidents more often”. WTF
That’s a solid zinger.
I had called my ex and asked him to meet me in front of the courthouse so I could give him a copy of our divorce decree and he asked me to marry him again.
I guess it is kind of romantic?
That she knows one day she will have my babies. she didn’t and high school is a big learning experience for relationships
Interesting gamble on her part.
First girlfriend liked to threaten me with lemon juice and razor blades.
Sounds like the hottest threat of all time.
“I do not want to be a mother. I want to do drugs, get fucked up, and get fucked by strange men”
This was right before she signed away her rights and I became a single parent.
This one is more sad than creepy.
I once had that “It’s not over if we don’t both agree it’s over” line when I split up with an ex. When you hear that, you know you’re in for a bad time.
The most pathetic sentence ever spoken.
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