Keep the questions coming, guys. These are always fun for me. Question is in quotes below.
I’ll keep this short and to the point. If you met the girl of your dreams, could you take sex off the table? I recently met an absolute 10. He’s smart, funny, sweet, interesting and very attractive. I could not have been more shocked when he told me he was a virgin. I live in NYC, and even meeting someone who goes to church is rare. I am neither religious nor a virgin, which I was honest about. Am I wasting my time? Or should I actually consider giving up sex for (possible) love?
Okay, well first of all, I didn’t know virgins lived in NYC. I’m from Michigan. I’ve never been to NYC. I live in Chicago now, but that is nothing compared to The Big Apple. I thought it was just alcohol, cocaine, and sex all the time there.
Let me start off by saying that the girl of my dreams is an heiress of some kind with more money than she could ever spend in a lifetime. Either that or a girl who is on her way to becoming a brain surgeon. Or one of those girls that went to SMU and doesn’t really do anything after college because her dad is an oil tycoon. All of these professions would allow me to quit my day job and focus on watercolor painting or becoming a “philanthropist” (also known as someone who throws dope parties).
So yes, if I met an heiress who told me she was saving herself for marriage, I could probably bite the bullet for two, three, four years without having sex if I knew what the rest of my life was going to look like. But for anyone else? No way. I like having sex too much to give it up. Masturbation can only do so much.
I’m 24, so for me to settle down right now would be lunacy. And the chances of me meeting that daughter of an oil tycoon are astronomically low. On any given night out, the primary reason for me to be out in the first place is to get laid. I know this sounds douchey (if you read any of my columns, you know that I am a douchebag) but my libido is on overdrive all the time. If I’m not having sex, I’m thinking about having sex. Commute to work? Sex. There are girls everywhere on the train. At work? Sex. The 40-ish-year-old receptionist in my office is smoking hot. At the gym? Don’t get me started.
I don’t know if you’re a sexual person or not. The risk/reward of dating a virgin is huge for a man. The quintessential male fear is that having sex with a virgin will make her clingy and obsessive. I’ve personally never done it. If you think the guy would have sex with you once you started dating and you’re afraid of that clingy-ness, I would say it’s not worth it.
Sex is a part of any adult relationship. It’s not the main part, but it is important. In my opinion, the whole reason most people get into a relationship is so that can have sex on a consistent basis. I guess it depends on how old you are and if you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. The other variable you need to take into account is time. If he’s saving himself for marriage, you’re probably going to have to date him for a few years before he gets down on one knee. The question you need to ask yourself is if you can go years without sex. If you’re actually in love with this guy, go for it. Although I’m sorry to say I’m betting that you’ll bail after a few months. Celibacy is for priests. Not normal humans.
In summation, I’d say in this particular case the juice is not worth the squeeze. .
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