I’ve never been waterboarded. I’d bet money on the fact that you, upper middle class white business analyst reading this under the soothing hum of fluorescent light, haven’t either. But what I would bet the scraps of my disposable income on is that it can’t be much worse than what one man is doing to raise money for a charity fundraiser. You thought the Gitmo torture methods were bad? Try listening to Nickelback for 168 hours straight.
Jesse Carey, whose normal day job as a magazine editor has been replaced with his new job title of “World’s Biggest Masochist,” figured that listening to Nickelback’s entire eight-album catalog on repeat for a week straight is the best way to help bring clean water to the developing world. In exchange for breaking the laws of nature and sanity alike, he asks that supporters donate to Charity: Water, an organization that orchestrates potable water projects in underserved regions of Africa and Southeast Asia. His self-imposed “ultimate test of human endurance” began on Monday and will last until February 22nd. On his official fundraising page, Carey claims he consulted several doctors who advised him that subjecting himself to this amount of Canadian ear rape could “cause irreversible damage to his ears, brain, kidneys and soul.” (Unconfirmed, but not really.)
Lucky for us – or should I say, the majority of Americans who kind of enjoy seeing others suffer permanent cognitive dismemberment – Carey is journaling his way through the endeavor via Twitter. And you can already get glimpses of his progressively deteriorating sanity.
Come Monday his tombstone will read, “Jesse Carey: Loving son, caring friend, and insensible son of a Mensch.”.
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