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Post Grad Freshman: Grouper

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Big city, big lights, and a friend total that you can count on one hand. That dream of living in the city with a few of your friends has finally come to fruition. You lied your way right into that entry level position, and you are ready to underwhelm your manager and live life to the fullest. Fan-fucking-tastic. Let’s do it. The only issue is that so far you only know people from work and your two friends from college, so you’re not exactly rolling deep in the friend department. Not to worry, you’ll meet people. It’s life, but you can’t just go through your day-to-day in silence; you’re going to have to talk to someone at some point. The problem for many of us post grad freshman is that we now have “friends” that are older. These 26 year olds are far removed from the life we left behind just a few short months ago. Great people, but there has to be a way to just hang out with some 22 year olds and go a whole night as if you were still an undergrad baller. Don’t worry, there’s an app for that.

Insert Grouper. Haven’t heard of it? Be more trendy, bro. Now before I go explaining what this app is, I want to make sure it is understood that this is not Tinder. Tinder is creepy. If you have actually met up with someone on Tinder, you are a true American and I salute you. For the rest of you that swipe on Tinder to pass the time with no intention of ever actually having a conversation, there is a better way. Grouper is an app that sets up 3 guys and 3 girls to meet up at a specific bar with the first round of drinks already paid for. A group date. Some person at Grouper gets all in your Facebook profile and matches you up based on however you chose to display yourself on social media. So if you haven’t heard of it, or you’ve heard of it but don’t know anyone who’s taken the plunge, here is what to expect.

Post Grad Freshman: Grouper

It’s Awkward

Don’t get it twisted; this is still online dating. The term has been broadened to include less creepy apps such as this. At the end of the day, a stranger is looking through your Facebook, judging the shit out of you, and then setting you up with another stranger. That’s a little fucking awkward. Not to mention the fact that you don’t know what these people you’re meeting up with look like, and you only know one of their names. You’re not by yourself though; you’re with the homies, so that awkwardness dwindles away with time and alcohol.

It Gets Weird

It’s going to be the type of night that you’ve been missing since graduation, IF you let it happen. You need to go into this night assuming that something extraordinarily weird is going to take place. As someone who has gone on my fair share of Groupers, I can honestly say that it’s never been a casual evening. There is good reasoning behind that too. You signed up for this thing with your two friends expecting something interesting at the very least. Lame people don’t take a chance on a group dating app, so more likely that not, you’re going to end up with a six-some of young adults looking to cause a ruckus. Let it happen.

Hangovers are Real

Groupers take place Tuesday through Friday. I recommend scheduling the Friday option, but weeknight groupers happen, and the next day is a rough one. Hey, maybe you’re still in your old drinking form. Kudos to you, kid. You’re the man. But the odds are that the postgrad world has depleted you of your former drinking skill set, and left you wondering where the hell it went. The combination of drinking away the initial awkward situation and finally being around people your own age is going to lead to a great night, but a rough morning.

So if you’re trying to relive the days of old, I definitely recommend Grouper. Hopefully it results in good people and good times, but what the fuck do I know.

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OldManVers

Days since I last wore a collared shirt: 116

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