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People That Watch Ahead Of Their Significant Other On Netflix Are Complete Monsters

People That Watch Ahead Of Their Significant Other On Netflix Are Complete Monsters

What’s wrong with you people? Have you no shame? No morals? No integrity?

There’s a coyness that someone gets when they don’t want to admit that they’ve done the deed. When they don’t know how to get around the fact that they’ve already breezed through S2E4 of Narcos when you’re positive that you left off on S2E2. There they sit – crawling in their own skin trying to figure out how they could’ve possibly put themselves into the situation. Cheaters. Heathens. Fucking monsters.

The worst part? These aren’t isolated incidents. You don’t just have that one friend who’s boyfriend cheated on her and everyone has a pity party for. This essentially happens to any couple who shares a television, an Apple TV, or a Netflix account. Just when you think you can trust someone, they turn around and stab you in the back some night when you’re working late or they decided to skip their Saturday morning pilates class while you were out playing golf. Yeah, this shit is personal (if you can’t tell).

Per a report put out by the Media Center at Netflix, people around the world are going behind their partner’s back and watching ahead.

According to a new study* released today by Netflix, nearly half (46%) of streaming couples around the world have “cheated” on their significant other, but it’s not what you think.

Defined as watching a TV show ahead of your significant other, Netflix cheating was first uncovered in a study in the U.S. in 2013. Four years later, cheating has increased three times[1] and has become a common behavior around the world. This behavior only continues to grow with 60% of consumers saying they’d cheat more if they knew they’d get away with it. And once you cheat, you can’t stop: 81% of cheaters are repeat offenders and 44% have cheated 3+ times.

Sickening statistics. Hard to stomach. I’m so disgusted with this that I feel the need to take a shower and rid myself of you filth. This is the type of thing that tears couples apart and rocks them to their core. The sort of behavior that rips apart every fiber of your being while wondering, “How will I ever catch up? Can we ever be the same?”

No television show is safe. The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, American Horror Story, House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Narcos, and Stranger Things are the shows most prone to turning innocent watchers into back-stabbing psychopaths. But the worst part isn’t even what they’re watching – it’s how they’re doing it. 25% of these people are doing it while their partner is asleep next to them. The horror.

I understand that you’re super into The Crown or can’t get enough Kimmy Schmidt, but have a heart. Show some restraint – not just for yourself, but for your partner.

[via Netflix]

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Will deFries

Will deFries (@WilldeFries) is the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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