A new study from mediocre fitness brand Reebok has determined that the average human spends less than half of 1 percent of their life knocking boots and slapping cellulite.
The study found that people are much more likely to sit on their ass in the office or screw around on technology than they are to engage in sexual relations. This is particularly sad because almost 100 percent of males dedicate 95-99 percent of their brain capacity thinking about it.
From The New York Post:
According to a new study from Reebok, in partnership with global consultancy Censuswide, the average person spends less than 1 percent (only .45 percent!) of their life having sex. Altogether, that’s a measly 117 days spent knocking boots.
For the study, the fitness brand surveyed more than 9,000 people from nine countries to see what the average human does with their 25,915 days on Earth. (That’s how much time you get if you live until you’re 71.)
Interesting. So what extremely sad thing are we doing instead of banging?
Turns out, we spend more time working up a sweat in other ways than we do boning. The average person devotes .69 percent (or about 180 days) of their life to exercise, according to the survey. (Perhaps we’re working out that sexual frustration?)
Apparently, we spend about 30 percent of our days glued to our seats (at home or at the office) and 41 percent of our lives engaging with technology. That’s 10,625 days!
I wonder how much masturbation inflates the number? Probably knocks it up to somewhere between 10 – 15 percent, honestly.
There you have it, folks. The one thing you focus a majority of your time on mentally is one of the things you experience very little physically throughout the course of your life. Sex is as rare for you as “exercising” or “being fulfilled with your job.” Satisfaction in life is minimal. Buy a dog or some shit.
I guess that means it’s time to realign some of those priorities. Let’s make 2016 the most fuckable year to date..
[via New York Post]
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