It’s already been made clear that people are naming their kids in the most asshole-y ways they can possibly think of, and it’s not Gwyneth Paltrow naming her kid “Apple.”
But now it’s come to light that parents are putting the names of Instagram filters on birth certificates, because of course. Allow Time to explain:
Millennial parents are looking to Instagram filters to help name their children, according to one parenting site. The most popular name derived from the photo-sharing app was Lux, which rose 75% on the list of baby boy names compared to last year, new statistics from BabyCenter.com show.
Ludwig, Amaro, Reyes, Hudson and Kelvin also increased in popularity for boy names, while baby girls were named Juno, Valencia and Willow.
I mean, we really should’ve seen this coming from a mile away, but perhaps the logical side of all of us just hoped it would never come to this.
I, personally, think even using the stock filters on Instagram is a hoe-ass move, so naming my kid after one is just out of the question. Clarendon? Moon? Lark? Hudson? Valencia? X-Pro II? Hefe? Okay, I’ll let that slide but only because any kid named Hefe is going to be the mob boss of the cafeteria, just stealing Pokémon cards and POG slammers. People still play with those, right?
The miserable thing is that some people in the wild already have these names. Lark? That’s Lisa Turtle’s name when she isn’t on Saved By The Bell. Juno? Ellen Page covered that one in that movie where George Michael Bluth knocked her up. And Willow is the name of Will Smith’s daughter, who is an asshole by association given her close relationship with her brother Jaden.
Can’t we all just name our kids after our grandparents like the olden days? .
Image via Unsplash