Penny Stock Traders Got Rich Off Ebola Because People Are Idiots

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Ebola. So hot right now. So hot you could even call it “The Hot Zone” (I’m so sorry). Not only are media companies delighting in the opportunity to cash in on turning a moderate health crisis into a full-blown pandemic, Wall Street is now getting into the mix. Jordan Belfort might be out of the penny stocks game, but the industry is still going strong. The Securities Exchange Commission just suspended trading for four companies who purported themselves to be creating products that combat Ebola.

Now, these aren’t legitimate pharmaceutical companies touting a cure, or a biohazard gear company making suits. The four companies involved are Bravo Enterprises, Immunotech Laboratories, Myriad Interactive Media, and Wholehealth Products, all of which sound like made up evil corporations from a straight-to-DVD movie starring Randy Quaid. The four companies trade on the penny stock market, and all promote doing “development of products to prevent or treat the Ebola virus,” which the SEC has found to basically be pure bullshit. The SEC has also released a general warning to investors that “con artists” promoting Ebola treatment-related products are out there, and looking to take advantage of the heightened level of fear over the disease.

It’s always unfortunate to hear about people being scammed, especially when it involves them throwing away their savings, but come on, people. If someone had an Ebola treatment, don’t you think you would’ve heard about it before some slick talking guy named Chad called you with a hot investment tip? If there was really a treatment out there, CNN would be sucking that company’s dick from now until the next overhyped “crisis” starts. Do your fucking research.

[via Business Insider]

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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