I’m partial to my office chair. I picked it out when I started my job a couple years ago. I wanted one of those fancy ergonomic chairs. There’s not much to them except some plastic and netting, so I figured one would be well within my boss’s budget. As he wheeled in some used piece of shit, I quickly figured out that I was very, very wrong. After finding out what he paid for it, breaking the news to him that he was ripped off, and telling him it was broken and hurt my back, I went on a quest for my own office throne.
I’ve always been a bit of a professional at impromptu napping. Whether my neighbor in macroeconomics was having to wake me up from behind my backpack to sign the role sheet, my arm being perfectly placed to hide my closed eyes from the cubicle Nazis while my trained wrist simultaneously kept the mouse moving, or just straight up busting out a neck pillow “during my lunch break,” I have slept in an office chair every way imaginable. I finally bought myself an ottoman for my office chair—a real must-have. I thought I was living the highlife, until I saw this the other day:
The fact that I didn’t invent this truly pisses me off. Office naps 2.0 were supposed to be MY glory. Not only is it perfect for that 10-minute to 2-hour essential siesta, but it also “features movable lumbar support that properly aligns your back and reduces extreme strain on your back and shoulders.” Ugh. It’s ergonomic, too. I bet it’s just delightful. For someone who walks around stretching her sciatic (lower back region, for you fortunate ones who haven’t discovered this is something that hurts, yet) constantly, thereby looking like she constantly has a wedgie that she’s just too modest to correct, this seems like something my insurance should cover. You know, one of those 100%, preventative care coverages. I’ll hit them up about that the next time I have approximately 4 consecutive, free hours in my day.
Well, now that I’ve spent three paragraphs fawning over an office chair (#PGP), I’ll take this moment to state that nothing contained herein is intended to serve as an admission, express, tacit, or otherwise, of any violation(s) of my employers’ napping policy..
You can pick one up here, if you’re looking to be a baller.
Image via Shutterstock