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Oil Tycoon Harold Hamm Paying Ex-Wife A Billion Dollars In Divorce Settlement

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Harold Hamm, the founder, CEO and majority shareholder of Continental Resources, who wipes his ass with your (and my) annual salary every time he takes a dump, is about to make history after a judge ordered him to pay his ex-wife one of the biggest divorce settlements in history. Yes, the 24th richest man in the country according to Forbes will have to cough up one hell of a pretty penny because he can’t fucking stand the sight of his wife, Sue Ann Hamm, anymore.

The cost? Oh, just a paltry $1 billion dollars. That’s right. Billion with a B.

After a highly secretive nine-week trial, a judge in Oklahoma City ruled that Mr. Hamm would have to pay his ex-wife close to a billion dollars; but don’t feel bad for the poor billionaire, he only has to pay $320 million up front, then $7 million a month. That’s chump change! Shit, the dude’s probably got that sitting around somewhere in Treasury bonds.

Of course, a mere billion barely compares to the sum that Russian fertilizer magnate Dmitry Rybolovlev had to pay his wife back in May of this year. That bill came out to $4.8 Billion, which came out to be half of Rybolovlev’s fortune. So that dude actually has to make some lifestyle changes. Hamm’s just gonna have to give up a few multi-million dollar houses and some stock.

The biggest part of the case was, obviously, the thing that turned Hamm from a simple multi-millionaire to a billionaire entrepreneur: Buying up the one million acres of oil and natural gas-rich land known as the Bakken Formation. The question that made the whole case was whether or not he bought up the land knowing it would bear fruit, or if he just stumbled onto the oil. Apparently that’s a law in Oklahoma, if you stumble onto your fortune, you’re not liable for it. If you made money based on “changing economic conditions, or circumstances beyond the parties’ control,” your money is off the table.

I don’t understand how these idiots could be so smart to the point where they’ve made billions of dollars, but so dumb when it comes to their personal lives. Have none of these rich assholes heard the gospel of Kanye West (feat. Jamie Foxx)?? “If you ain’t no punk, holla we want prenup.” I think I’m gonna get that tattooed on my dick so I never forget.

[via New York Times]

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