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Ohio Woman Stabs Boyfriend Because He Ate All The Salsa, Sounds Reasonable

Ohio Woman Stabs Boyfriend Because He Ate All The Salsa, Sounds Reasonable
Oh, Ohio. You’re truly the Florida of the Midwest.

Police officers in Akron, Ohio were summoned to a domestic dispute call to find a 61-year-old man, the victim, clutching his stomach, and the assailant nowhere to be found. He told the police that his girlfriend, 50-year-old Phyllis D. Jefferson, stabbed him repeatedly with a pen. Why? According to the police report, Jefferson got angry with him for eating all the salsa.
Ohio Woman Stabs Boyfriend Because He Ate All The Salsa, Sounds Reasonable
See what happens when you try and ration people’s condiments, Chipotle? First you charge extra for Guac, then you limit people’s meat? Yeah, Moe’s isn’t great, but at least they have that salsa bar where you can get as much as you want. AND free chips. You inhuman monsters.

Jefferson fled the scene but was pulled over by police on Interstate 77, west of Akron. The victim’s injuries weren’t life-threatening, but I bet he thinks twice before he eats salsa again. Thank God it wasn’t Queso. I know a lot of people that would straight-up murder someone for eating any of their Queso, let alone all of it.

[via People]

Image via Shutterstock

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