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Newest Corporate Trend: Mandatory 7am Dance Parties — Just Quit Your Job Now

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I think we can file this one under “Awful, Useless Things To Come Out Of Williamsburg” along with hipsters, entitlement, and Lena Dunham’s “Girls.”

Apparently there’s a new trend that’s sweeping, well, Brooklyn, called “Daybreaker.” It’s an early morning Dance Party/Rave complete with loud, banging dance music, yoga, juice, live bands, flashing, colorful lights, but NO ALCOHOL OR MIND-ALTERING DRUGS, they swear!

According to Business Insider, “Founders Matt Brimer and Radha Agrawal created a 100% sober rave, where the only thing people get high on is life. They say, ‘it is about love, it is about mindfulness and it is about mischief.'”

Forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical, but Business Insider strapped on a GoPro, because that’s clearly what the GoPro people had in mind when they invented the technology to see what it really is all about. “Put it on your head when you’re skiing down a double black diamond mountain? Nahh, go to a Hipster Rave before work with it on, that’s just as fun!”

If you want to attend one of these parties, you can find them on the web at dykbrkr.com or on instagram at dybrkr because vowels are SO totally uncool.

Or, instead of paying $25 to go to a completely dry party before you go to work ($35 if you want to take Yoga), put that extra $25 in an investment account. Do that once a week and you’ll have a future. Do THIS once a week and you won’t be able to feed yourself, nor will you be able to hear because of all the loud, shitty music.

If you’re interested in dudes in suits writing you Haikus on typewriters, or partying with that something that looks like a feminine hygiene product, this event is for you. Here’s to hoping your boss won’t make you go to one of these any time soon. God speed, cubicle warriors. The world is against us.

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[via Business Insider]

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