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New iPhone App Lets You Rate Your Coworkers

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Looking for a way to bitch about Randy in Accounting without having to take a trip to HR? Sick of Geraldine’s lunches stinking up the entire office? Or maybe you’re just an equal opportunity hater and just want a way to vent before you explode? Well, ladies and gentlemen of the Postgrad Workplace, your egress has arrived. All you have to do is take a trip to the App Store.

Enter: Knozen.

Knozen is a brand new iPhone app that lets you rank your coworkers’ personalities, completely anonymously, like Yelp, or Lulu, except without the potentially slanderous statements being made about members of the opposite sex.

Knozen pits two coworkers together and asks them questions, such as, “Which person is friendlier?” or, “Who is more likely to buy cookies from a girl scout?”

Now, see, that’s a disappointment to me. I’d want them to ask questions like, “Who’s most likely to steal your lunch and eat it in front of you?” or “Who is more likely to go down on you in the copy room?” THAT’S the kind of hard-hitting information we need to know.

The user will then pick one of the two and sees how many other coworkers voted the same way. Think “Facemash,” but instead of comparing Harvard hotties (if there is such a thing), you’re comparing your dead-eyed coworkers. A minimum of seven people from an organization need to sign up for Knozen before they’re allowed to start rating each other.

Sounds like this easily has the potential to backfire, but Knozen founder Marc Cenedella, who also founded and started “TheLadders,” a premiere job-matching website, states that the app is a way to “bring personality to the internet” and that the content will always be “positive and upbeat.” For example, you won’t be able to rank physical qualities, like appearance.

I would go download the app myself, but I’m pretty sure it would cause me to hate myself even more. My ego doesn’t need that swift kick in the dick.

[via Business Insider]

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