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Naked Cowboy Thief Runs Rampant In The Atlanta Metro Area

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Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers. It looks like Johns Creek, GA had a little run in with a naked cowboy. That’s right, in what seemed like a viral marketing ploy for a “Grand Theft Auto/Blazing Saddles” mash-up, Lone Ranger wannabe Ashton Gibbs, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, stole a car in Decatur, GA, drove half an hour north to Johns Creek, and broke into at least two homes. In one of these homes, he made a meal, drank a beer, and watched some baseball. This has to be the most casual commission of multiple felonies of all time. Personally, out of those three crimes, I’d say stealing someone else’s beer deserves the harshest punishment, death, but maybe I’m just old fashioned like that.

Gibbs is pretty much screwed, considering his spree was caught partially on tape and one of the people who lived in one of the houses he broke into saw him raiding their kitchen. Now, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run around town wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, but I can assure you that none of those instances had involved breaking and entering and grand theft auto, mostly because I doubt I’d be able to ride into the sunset for at least 12 months afterward.

[via NY Daily News]

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5OClockShadow

"Technically, Pablo Escobar was in sales."

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