Let me just say that unless you’re celebrating a milestone birthday, most of your friends probably won’t know, or even care, that it’s your birthday.
Once you get past twenty-one, people tend to care less and less about what day you were born on. They care even less when another major holiday is involved. Throughout my years, I’ve heard people complain about having a Christmas birthday, Easter birthdays, and the unfortunate January 2nd birthday. However, Mother’s day birthdays are, in fact, the worst birthdays.
Everyone Has Plans
99% of your friends will have something planned because it’s Mother’s day. These plans (which include waking up early for a breakfast of some kind) mean that Saturday night is usually a no-go as well. And unless your friends want to brave the harsh reality of a birthday-induced drinking hangover on a Monday, they won’t be coming out on Sunday night either.
You Have To Spend Money
For most of you, birthdays are a chance to rake in some cash or get a nice gift. On Mother’s Day, it’s a wash because you have to go out and make sure you get a worthwhile gift for Mom. Sweet, I got a $50 gift card from Target… what can I get mom for $50 from Target?
You Can’t Party
As much as you’d like to go out and party like it’s your birthday, you can’t. We all know our moms wouldn’t appreciate you Ubering to her Mother’s Day dinner smelling like one too may Sunday brunch mimosas.
It’s Never Your Day
No matter how selfish you are, a Mother’s Day Birthday will never be just your day. It’s always going to be shared with someone else.
I Don’t Care About Any Of That
Sure, this began with a pretentious and selfish vibe, but now that I have you sucked in, let me pull a 360. I literally could care less about any of the things I mentioned above.
My mom is without a doubt the most influential woman in my life. So influential that in second grade I almost failed a project because the famous iconic American woman I did my report on was her until I begrudgingly changed it to Amelia Earhart.
I have what I would describe as a “Super Mom,” and she’s given me some of the most important gifts I could ever receive, especially on my birthday.
Mom, since you’re reading this, let me take the time to thank you for all that you’ve done and everything you’ve given me. Not only do you have to share your day with me, you’ve given me overwhelming support growing up. I wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it weren’t for your parenting. Because of you, I’ve inherited a witty sense of humor, punny one-liners, overall love of life, and an over the top choice in outfits for any themed holiday or bar crawl. However, the gifts you’ve given me don’t stop there.
On top of everything I’ve learned or inherited from you, you’ve given me something I’ll never be able to fathom or return, a mother’s love. From the moment you first held me, to putting up with the terrible Christmas card tantrums, all the way into my shitty teenager years, you’ve always loved me the only way a mother could, unconditionally.
No matter how mad I made you, (resulting in your fastest mile time ever, you’re welcome) or whatever bonehead mistake I made (like the time you got a phone call from the sheriff for drinking my senior year in high school), you’ve always been here for me with a smile, hug, or sometimes a much-needed kick in the ass.
I guess in the end what I’m trying to say is that being your son is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for, and I love you.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Sorry about the whole pain during childbirth. .
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