Are you livin’ right? Because I thought I was livin’ right. Turns out I was woefully mistaken.
I came to that realization after stumbling upon the story of New Jersey’s own Agnes Fenton, who just turned 110 years old. How did she reach supercentenarian status? The old fashioned way: Miller High Life and Johnnie Walker Blue.
I’m honestly embarrassed. Here I’ve been drinking 16 dollar cabs for the anti-oxidants and vodka waters to minimize the inevitable debilitating hangover, but it turns out I was way off. Fenton, who also credits frequent prayer and a lot of sleep, said that her only serious health issue was a benign tumor found 70 years ago. Little did she know, she’d be treated by the mankind’s most dope doctor ever who recommended a steady diet of raging in his diagnosis.
According to The Record:
She told ABC that her only serious health problem was a long-ago benign tumor and that the doctor discharged her with one word of advice.
“He said, ‘Agnes, you must drink three Miller High Lifes a day.’ ”
“So Aggie’s enjoyed three beers and a shot of scotch every day for almost 70 years,” the ABC correspondent marveled.
Fenton prefers Johnnie Walker Blue Label, the top-shelf stuff.
Top-shelf, and she’s crushing the champagne of beers? Damn, Agnes goes hard.
That’s funny, because my doctor routinely, and dickheadishly, reminds me about the dangers of daily consumption of booze. I know it’s apples and oranges, but I’ll remember this story the next time I’m being lectured about my drinking habits by my doctor, insurance company, boss, parents, or wife..
[via The Record]
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