Columns

Morning Coffee Thoughts 3/17

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Every morning, we gather here to contemplate, plan, soak up inspiration, harvest motivation, and get jacked up on coffee and confidence for a day of kicking ass.

HOLY SHIT BALLS WE DID IT AGAIN. WE CRUSHED ANOTHER WEEK LIKE IT WAS A MOSQUITO THAT JUST LANDED ON OUR ARM. WHO CAN BLAME US? THIS WEEK WAS THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN US AND ANOTHER WEEKEND. WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO KILL IT. JUSTIFIED HOMICIDE IN MY PROFESSIONAL LEGAL OPINION. NOW IT’S TIME TO REMIND OURSELVES WHY WE PUT THE WORK IN — TO REAFFIRM THE REASONING BEHIND THIS NONSTOP WEEKDAY GRIND. THIS IS WHEN WE LOOSEN OUR TIES, TAKE OFF OUR BRAS, AND FUCK SHIT UP. I ONLY LOST ONE TOOTH THIS WEEK AND THAT, TO ME, IS REASON TO CELEBRATE. ALSO, THERE ARE GLORIOUS COLLEGE HOOPS ALL OVER THE TELEVISIONS. THAT IS NEAT. ALSO, NON-ATHLETE COLLEGE KIDS ARE OUT ON SPRING BREAK DOING ORAL TO EACH OTHER, SO WE NEED TO GO OUT AND GET WEIRD THIS WEEKEND. IT’S ONLY FAIR. FRIDAY MY FRIENDS WE BACK IN THIS BITCH. WHO GON’ STOP US HAAANH?

BALL SO HARD LET’S GET FADED.

What’s on your schedule this morning? What are you going to conquer today? Cool shit going down this weekend? Let us know in the comments section below. Positivity only. Build the energy. Come correct or don’t come at all.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover podcast, perpetually disappointed Rockets fan, Astros fan, and Texans fan who attended the 2017 Masters.

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