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Morning Coffee Thoughts

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Every morning, we gather here to contemplate, plan, soak up inspiration, harvest motivation, and get jacked up on coffee and confidence for a day of kicking ass.

WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD. TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NO MAN. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CATCH THE BIG FISH. SMALL FISH ARE FOR LOSERS. THROW THE SMALL FISH BACK. BETTER YET, HOOK SEVERAL SMALL FISH UP TO YOUR LINE AND USE THEM TO CATCH THE BIG FISH. THE BIG FISH IS GLORY. GRAB GLORY BY THE DICK AND SHAKE IT UNTIL MONEY COMES POURING OUT OF ITS MOUTH. NOW TAKE THAT MONEY, DRIVE TO THE NEAREST CASINO, PUT IT ALL ON BLACK AND DOUBLE DOWN. THEN TAKE THAT PILE OF CASH, DOUSE IT IN GASOLINE, LIGHT A CIGAR, TAKE A FEW PUFFS AND TOSS IT INTO THE PILE. WARM YOURSELF BY THE FIRE. WHY? YOU DON’T NEED THAT PILE. YOU CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER PILE. YOU’VE GOT A WHOLE BRAIN FULL OF PILES. WHAT’RE YOU, SCARED? FEAR IS FOR LOSERS. DON’T GET SCARED, GET MAD. GET MAD AS HELL. YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING GOD DAMN IT. YOUR LIFE HAS VALUE.

Today’s message is for all the people out there that hate their jobs. The folks who wake up miserable every morning, stand in the shower hoping a meteor will hit their apartment, praying they’ll hit every red light on the way to work, dreading every hour ahead of them, and daydreaming of creative ways to kill their boss with every moment of their free time while on the clock.

Look, everyone grows up being told, “You can do whatever you want when you grow up!” Then you grow up and learn that’s a total crock of shit. Not everybody is going to find a job they absolutely love. That’s just not realistic. But you sure as shit shouldn’t have a job that you hate. At least not for too long. Your days are numbered. You can’t be wasting away doing something you don’t even remotely enjoy with the majority of your life. That’s absurd. What kind of idiot would do that? A crazy amount of people do, though. So what should you do if you don’t like something? Change it.

I’m not saying you should quit your job on a whim and wander the earth until you find your calling. That’s as equally insane as working a job you hate forever, and if everyone that hated their jobs quit at the same time, the global economy would collapse. But get the ball rolling. Keep your eyes open. Search out new opportunities. Refuse to be satisfied with a position you don’t like. Use your experience at the shit job you hate to get the next job that you hate a little less, and so on and so on until one day you’re doing something that doesn’t make you unhappy. Being unhappy is for losers.

My hope is that at least one person will get fired today for opening their office window and repeatedly yelling, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!” If that happens, my life will be complete.

Lose yourself and toss the mic.

What’s on the schedule this morning? What are you going to conquer today? How are you going to use this 24 hours to change your life for the better? Let us know in the comments section below. Positivity only. Build the energy. Come correct or don’t come at all.

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Throbes podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets and Astros fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.

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