The one thing we can be sure of in this hi-tech, quickly decomposing world of ours is that as our options expand the more complicated life becomes. Not exactly what you’d expect to hear from a narcissistic, idealistic libertarian like myself, but as much as I preach, I do understand that while the truth runs on logic, reality runs on irrationality which is why people are swept up by the rhetoric of your Trumps and Bernie Sanderses while neglecting to dive into the facts of what a disaster they would actually be given a title of true consequence. But this isn’t about politics. This is about you and me and the fact that while much has been made about what technology has done to the world of finding someone to service your utilities on a short or long-term basis the fact of the matter is that it has, for better or for worse, made the dating world more brutally honest.
We are now faced with an abundance of options the likes of which we would have never even fathomed in our primal origins. In any major city, you can spend hours and hours swiping through thousands of members of the opposite sex based on their looks alone. You can infamously slide into someone’s DMs on Twitter based on what you’ve gleaned from their tweets on their personality and pray that they’re somewhat attractive. You can do all the old fashioned pickups like approaching a girl in the meat department and asking her to compare sausages. Ultimately, you have so many options that you feel you can move on without consequence if someone doesn’t live up to your romanticized, idealistic view of a potential mate, for which we can blame increasingly stupid romantic comedies and our perceptions of our friends who took the plunge and found their seemingly perfect person. Or you just get bored banging someone. I’m not complaining— I’ve been a culprit as much as I’ve been a victim of these circumstances, and who’s to say that it’s much different from before? If anything, it’s easier to move on.
But in the midst of it all— the sex, the ambiguity, the chemistry, even occasionally the romance, we fail to see the benefit of this new world—brutal honesty. In many aspects of our lives, we are living lies. Politicians who are in office are telling us things are fine while the ones trying to get elected are telling us doomsday is upon us. At work, our bosses and our customers tell us we are doing a great job, and yet when we come home we don’t always feel rewarded or even confident in that. Maybe it’s good motivation, but nonetheless concerning. We’re told justice is blind and that our intentions are what matters. We are told hard work always pays off. We’re told things like “it was nice to see you again,” “it wasn’t meant to be,” and “it was nice to meet you.” We’re told everyone’s opinion matters when we all know dangerous idiots whose opinion comes straight out of their rectum. Every aspect of our lives is polished, which can be a relief on occasion. But modern dating is our reality check.
So now that we can easily disqualify someone on looks, personality, or lack of chemistry, we can completely ignore them and move on, although we all know on occasion pheromones don’t give a shit about whether or not you dislike someone—just ask my exes. But maybe we need that kind of honesty in our lives. It prevents us from wasting time on someone who’s going to enjoy the companionship until they don’t. Someone who’s going to sleep with you for 4 weeks and decide that they should have ended things 3 weeks earlier. We can stop being ridiculous cliches of lost singles and be truly honest with each other about our intentions. We aren’t. Girls who say no hookups will find themselves in passionate sexual relationships that burn out in weeks and guys looking for something casual will find themselves in the chase (albeit sometimes it was just a really good blow job).
With the resources and options we all now have, we can be truly honest with each other. Stigmas are dying a slow painful death, but they ARE dying. What should really be the harm in telling someone you’d rather cut the crap now, get laid, and figure everything else out later? Sometimes it’s just better to see where it goes. “Let’s just go down on each other” may be lacking in romance and tact, but is being heavy in truth that awful? That might be our next step, thank goodness, so we can cut out the prepackaged pickup lines and behavioral manipulations that were made popular by false pickup prophets on cheesy VH1 TV shows, cut the crap, and expedite the process, and maybe even get off a few times in the process. There’s plenty of other shit going on in our lives to waste so much time playing the game. Maybe it’s the kick in the ass we all need so we can pass on the fairy tales and make real progress in our lives, unless that itself is the real illusion, in which case, at least there’s no bush to beat around..