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Michigan Suburb Tickets People for Cursing, Which Is Fucking Bullshit

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Looks like we’ve got us another case of “Life Imitating South Park.”

In Brighton, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, you can now get fined up to $200 for swearing. $200! That’s a lot of fucking beer money. This story came to life when some little shits were skateboarding in a public park when some asshole cops showed up and told them to step the hell off. While one little shit was getting written up by the pigs, another little shit told the officers, very plainly, what he thought of their action against his friend: “This is fucking bullshit.”

Now, this little shit swore up and down (pun absolutely intended) that he cursed under his breath and there were no kids around to hear him curse, but the cops wrote him a $200 ticket for disorderly conduct anyway. He fought the ticket and lost. The Brighton Police chief said that, while there are no laws against any specific words, they’re cracking down on youths and hooligans “preying” on family parks; so if you make trouble at any of his precious downtown parks, you’ll have to answer to HIM.

I’m sorry, I thought this was AMERICA! The Motherfucking United States of Goddamn America, the land of the free and the home of the Whopper! This is the place where you can eat whatever you want, do whatever you want, party wherever you want and, most importantly, say whatever the fuck you fucking feel like saying. This kid was well within his constitutional rights to express his discontent. He should’ve ripped that ticket up and pissed on it right in front of them. …well, maybe not, that’s actually a crime. Then he should’ve ripped it up and thrown it at them! …that might be a crime too.

Whatever. Fuck it. Hope the kid listens to some N.W.A. and strongly disrespects authority for years to come.

[via Livingston Daily, CBS]

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