1. Paying a stripper with a giant check made out to “Science.”
2. Following up the Best Man’s speech at Phyllis and Bob’s wedding with one of his own.
3.Buying a condo to “fill with children.”
4. Publicly shaming Dwight and then making him do his laundry for a year.
5. Describing the Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention as a “booze-fueled sex romp.”
6. Holding the pizza delivery guy hostage because he wouldn’t take a coupon.
7. Breaking up with Pam’s mom because he realized how old she was.
8. Having HR nightmare Todd Packer as his best friend.
9. When he tagged the Asian Benihana waitress that he liked with a Sharpie because he couldn’t tell her apart from the other one.
10. Threw a tantrum and torpedoed the Christmas party after Jim let Phyllis be Santa.
11. Dry cleaning his jeans.
12. Buying a women’s suit and then claiming that it’s a “power suit.”
13. “Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.”
14. Faking a suicide attempt to prove that working in an office can be dangerous.
15. Expecting his book to sell more copies than the Bible.
16. Dropping a “TWSS” in the middle of a multi-million dollar lawsuit testimony.
17. Promising an entire classroom of kids college tuition because he assumed he’d be a millionaire by the time he was 40.
18. Declaring bankruptcy by vocal assertion.
19. Driving a Sebring and OWNING it.
20. Trying to scare his coworkers straight by pretending he went to prison.
21. Telling HR where they can shove it, 24/7/365.