This is the story of Harry Househusband. Harry is a modern man who fully believes in making his wife happy in every way he can. Harry does his share of cooking, cleaning, laundry, and shuttling the kids to and from soccer practice. Because Harry is a modern man, he doesn’t know as much about cars, electronics, or home repair as his manly father did, but that’s okay because he “makes up for it with other skills.”
Harry comes home from work at his cubicle job that pays exactly half of the household income. He puts on his cardigan, makes sure the kids are doing homework, starts cooking tonight’s supper of Chicken Cacciatore and probably proceeds to sing a creepy song that asks young children to be his neighbor. What lady wouldn’t want to jump his bones?
You see Harry has fallen prey to what women have been saying for decades:
Unfortunately for Harry, this claim is one of the most bullshit claims ever.
Before the ladies threaten to burn down my residence, I give you, SCIENCE! A study published last year in the journal American Sociological Review showed that while women may claim the sight of their man folding laundry or scrubbing pots and pans gets them all hot and bothered, there is virtually no evidence to support such a claim. The study in fact claims that the best case for this claim is that there is as much evidence to refute it as there is to support it. Far be it from me to argue with the mighty wisdom of science.
This study acknowledges that the data defies all logic. Women complain when men don’t pull their weight around the house, so when we do chip in with the chores they should be happier. Happy wife = happy life = more sex, right? Wrong. It seems that women’s own instincts are playing tricks on them since they’re more likely to get frisky with a man who does traditional “man work.”
In light of this knowledge, I am putting on my workboots and am off to work on the truck, chop wood, fix the lawn mower, build a plowing combine, and generally get covered in sweat, motor oil and grease. Will I help do the dishes after she fixes supper or sweep the floor after I inevitably track mud in the house? We’ll see. Remember: science.