Imagine what you would do if you were on your commute to work in lousy, bumper-to-bumper traffic, heading to your dead end, 9 to 5 job, and listening to the top 40 station play the clean version of “Anaconda” for the thirtieth time in an hour when suddenly, you see money flying out of nowhere. Do you keep driving, or do you careen your car to the side of the highway and start grabbing for dollars like you’re on a Japanese game show?
Well, that’s exactly what happened in Maryland Friday morning, when drivers on I-270 were met with cash flying all over the highway, courtesy of an armored GardaWorld truck, which malfunctioned and dropped a bag of cash. Drivers hopped out of their cars and grabbed at the dolla dolla bills that rained down on them, which caused the ENTIRE northbound side of the highway to close for 20 minutes.
The incident, which took place near Urbana, Md., was said to be the result of a door lock malfunction in the Garda truck. “There was no crash. Cash was strewn across the interstate, but was quickly picked up by all the motorists who immediately stopped,” said Greg Shipley, Maryland State Police spokesman.
When police and firefighters arrived on the scene, the people picking up the cash fled, reportedly leaving clouds of dust in their wake like damn “Looney Tunes” characters. They must have stolen a ton of money, too, as state troopers and K-9 units only recovered $200 at the scene.
If you picked up the money, kudos to you for “sticking it” to “the man,” but you better be careful with your newly acquired cash–the Maryland State Police made it very clear that they will investigate the case, and they are asking anyone who might have picked up the cash to turn it in to the cops or face the consequences.
“Motorists who picked up the cash are reminded it is not their money,” said the police, in a statement. Anyone caught with the money could face theft charges.
Yeah…good luck getting that back, fellas. Unless Ned Flanders found a bill on his windshield and gave it to the cops for a good samaritan medal, people would be content to just stick this cash under their mattresses and wait for the heat to die down. It’s not the right thing to do, but fuck it, greed is good.