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Mailbag: Cheating, Being Hit On At The Gym, And Dream College Football Trips

Mailbag

Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co.

Dillon,

Been a PGP member since 2013. I have really enjoyed watching the site grow over the years. I appreciated on touching base how open you were with the audience in revealing that you were going through a divorce. I sympathized with your situation but did not realize months later I may be heading down that road myself. I recently found out my wife was having an affair, it was absolutely soul crushing. To think the person you devoted your life to in front of all your friends and family could commit such an act is unfathomable. We have no kids and I know what I need to do but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want this. I didn’t ask to be put in this situation. How do I rip the Band-Aid off and just say it?

Fuckkkkkkkkkk. I hate to hit you all with such a negative tone-setting question right from the jump, but you know we keep it one hundred around here and this is some real life shit.

I feel for you, man. I can’t relate, as my split was as amicable as amicable can get, but I do feel for you. Ending a marriage will put anyone through a wide array of emotions, and most of them are pretty tough, but to end one on terms like this has to be devastating. Fuck.

I can’t tell from your phrasing if she’s even aware that you know about the affair. I assume she’s aware and you two have talked extensively about it. If not, that’s step one. Be thankful that you don’t have any kids yet. That takes the split to a whole other level of difficult.

Some couples, even married ones, are able to stay together after someone cheats, but I’d imagine regaining that trust is an uphill battle that you never actually reach the top of. I’d end it in a counseling session. I’d let my counselor know beforehand what the session was about and let them guide you through the conversation. Less stress on you this way.

Hey Dillon,

Quick question-if a guy at the gym asks me (a girl) to “spot” him while doing some sort of lifting exercise, is that a feeble way to hit on me? Or do guys just ask anyone who is close by to help them out? For the record, I always say no. But is that rude?

Thanks! 🙂

Unless you’re built like Ronda Rousey, no guy is asking you to spot him without having an ulterior motive. He was hitting on you, plain and simple, and he got denied. It’s not a rude thing at all, but if you’re interested in homeboy, spot his ass next time.

Dillon,

I was hosting a lifelong friend, and his college girlfriend, at my apartment this weekend. Everything was going great until Saturday night. We parlayed an afternoon of Miller Lites on the porch into an evening at Loretta’s (in Boston). Great venue, bad move on our part. After a few whisky sours, everyone was waayy too drunk.We ended up Ubering home as a group around midnight. I let them into the house and went in search of some food to soak up the booze. When I returned, I walked into the kitchen to find my boy getting a blowie. I quickly made my exit, but saw entirely too much. To make matters worse, they totally know what I saw. I now sit in the office on a Monday contemplating what to do. I’ve been upfront and honest with him so far: I’ve told him what I saw, that I don’t want to talk about it, and that we’re all cool. How do I look at him the same way again? How do I handle it at their wedding?

Thanks for any help

I guess I don’t understand why you’re so bent out of shape over this? Your buddy getting top from his girlfriend typically isn’t something you want to walk in on, but I don’t see how it’s so jarring that it’s got you asking about how to handle it at their wedding. Uh, you don’t? They’re just a couple crazy drunk kids being horny in a kitchen. This needs to be more of a “Dude, remember that time I saw you getting a mouthjibber from Amanda in my kitchen?! HA! You crazy fucker!” discussion and not a “Dude, we need to talk about what happened that one night” one.

Get over it, man. People have sex. People go down on each other. Maybe give him daps instead of a lecture.


Hi Dillon!

What college football team would you most want to see play in person? Take any difficulties of travel, schedule, etc out of the equation.

-LC

There’s not a single program out there I’m dying to see play in person. I simply don’t care enough. For that reason, I’m making my decision based on where I’d like to travel to see a game. All about location. The Rose Bowl is the greatest college football venue I’ve personally been to, so for that reason alone, UCLA is in the running.

I’m probably picking Athens to watch UGA play, though. I’ve heard nothing but great things about that college town, plus SEC football is the best brand of college football, so that’s a plus.

What’s good Chillon D?

Ya boy rolled up to a weddin a couple weeks ago. Great ceremony where true love conquered all n I got drunk with old hats at tha reception. As tha kids say, it was lit.

When tha grandparents went to sleep n we started boolin, I noticed that there’s still apparently a deep seeded stigma against dudes dancin. I was out there gettin it but my homies from back in tha day were just doin that awkward shoulder shake shit on tha edges (#StopShoulderShakes2017). I been dancin long as I can remember (jazz tap n ballet had me killin people on tha O line) but it still seems that fellas don’t get after it. When’s tha last time u hit tha floor n why do u think bein tha coolest dude in attendance still a problem? Is it cause of deep seeded aspects of masculinity ingrained from European culture or cause some people ain’t got rhythm?

Thanks for tha feedback blood stay chillon.

– Tha Real

PS: (Audible ARF)

It’s good to hear from you, DJ Crime Dawg.

You have dancers and you have non-dancers. It’s probably a 50-50 split for guys. And even the 50% of guys who will dance have to be under the right circumstances before they hit the floor. They have to be among other dancers, the music has to be lit, and they have to be several drinks in. Without the right vibe, a group of pro-dancing people is just a gathering of people who aren’t dancing.

___

The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Dillon graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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