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Lululemon Is Making Beer Because They Know I Blow Money When I’m Drunk

Lululemon Is Making Beer Because They Know I Blow Money When I'm Drunk

Three weeks ago, I walked into the mall with the sole intention of walking out with some lululemon golf shirts. “These are hip, stylish shirts made by a trustworthy brand,” I said to myself while trying to justify the $84 pricetag for a Silverescent Metal Vent Tech Polo Shirt. Unfortunately, after a little biscuit led me to the fitting room, I had the brutal realization that these shirts had too athletic of a cut that only accentuated my scrawny arms and beer gut. Defeated, I walked out wishing I had the toned physique to crush one of those shirts.

Well, now lululemon is trying to take me even more out of their apparel customer base by luring me back in by producing their own brand of beer — Curiosity Lager.


The director of the brewery producing this beer, Stanley Park Brewing in Vancouver, explained:

“I think Lululemon, by extension, is interested in talking to a more male beer-drinking crowd.” He continued: “Just because you’re a yogi, doesn’t mean you won’t have an occasion for a beer.”

Well, I’m all ears, Marketing Director of Stanley Park Brewing in Vancouver. I dream of the day when I can leave my wife and kids to go down to a lululemon bricks and mortar location to presumably shop for my wife’s birthday, only to hammer down a few Curiosity Lagers in order to get the buying confidence to get my wife a $100 pair of leggings. As a future stay at home dad, lululemon may be as close as I can get to spreading my wings at that point.

It’s pretty obvious they’re trying to rope me in with the beer only to make me fall in love with their technical fabrics. So if I can somehow figure out a way to avoid man boobs and beer guts in the future, I’ll be stuck in a lululemon blackhole just snatching up shirts and pounding 16 oz. coldies.

Luckily for me, they’re only selling this particular brew at the 2015 SeaWheeze Sunset Festival and Half Marathon in August in Vancouver, so I’ll have to wait for some new batches to roll out before I can really get after some. Because you know I’m not running in that marathon.

[via Four Pins]

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Will deFries

Will deFries (@WilldeFries) is the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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