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Lindsay Lohan Revealed Her Extensive Sexual Resumé And It Is Impressive

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According to InTouch Weekly, Lindsay Lohan has some splainin’ to do. In Touch has reportedly obtained not just a list, but THE list of LiLo, and it is more star-studded than the front row of the Academy Awards.

So star-studded, in fact, that she’s probably ruined the celebrity hall pass of millions of girls across the world. The list includes Justin Timberlake, Joaquin Phoenix, Zac Efron, and Adam Levine. Lindsay has also tainted the spirit of Heath Ledger and future Mr. Gray, Jamie Dornan. James Franco also made the list, but if we’re going to be real with each other, he was probably too high to care.

Reportedly, according to a “source,” Lohan was trying to impress her friends at the Beverly Hills Hotel with the short list of her 36 closest lovers. After making the list, said to have transpired after talking a mean game about people in the industry, she “tossed it aside.” Yeah, Linds, because you have all the room in the world to talk…

Listen here, Lohan. The world was fine when you were banging Wilmer Valderrama on the reg, because even in the real world, nobody cares about Fez. But when you make a “personal conquest” of Justin Timberlake, you’ve crossed a very far-fetched, but very real line. She told the world on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon that she had become very spiritual in the last year; and if she ruins JT’s marriage to Jessica Biel, she better hope so.

[via InTouch Weekly]

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lnsayers

My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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