Just like all people are unique, all relationships are unique as well. Everyone approaches a relationship with a significant other differently. Some crash and burn, some flourish beautifully. A lot of relationships, especially during the postgrad years, go through some sort of long distance phase. While a long distance relationship is certainly not the easiest thing in the world, it can definitely be one of the most rewarding if you approach it the right way.
All relationships need good communication, but long distance relationships require excellent communication. Thankfully technology has improved tremendously over the past few years. Long distance relationships used to consist of letters and maybe a land line call here and there, but never anything like we see today. You can text, email, Snapchat, and FaceTime if you want to feel like you’re still together doing stuff. New technological advances in communication have not only helped relationships but also evolved relationships to where couples have different expectations and needs than they did in the past.
I spent the day with my grandfather a few days ago, and I realized something special. My grandmother was not home that weekend because she had gone to visit my family, and I did not see my grandfather text, Snapchat, or call even once. The majority of relationships today would never go that long without talking to each other, but for a couple from a previous generation it’s no problem. This is why it’s very important to find someone with the same desires and expectations as you. Some people want to talk all day long, some people enjoy their space. These two types definitely don’t mix together well so get it right before you enter into something for the long haul.
Pretty sure this one goes without saying. Every relationship needs this, but it may take a while to develop. Trust will build immensely throughout the course of a long distance relationship. If you don’t think you can ever trust someone, then spare both of yourselves the time and don’t jump into anything.
Long distance relationships can very quickly become a form of “who is going to see who” each weekend. After a while, you can get into a rut of showing up Friday night, not really doing anything all weekend, and then leaving Sunday. While these relaxing weekends are definitely necessary and can be very enjoyable from time to time, always make sure to mix it up. Plan a winery visit or a nice hike. You can always look for things to do that are more in the middle of the two of you if you aren’t too far of a drive from each other. Take trips together too. Plan little mini vacations whether it’s for an extended weekend or just a couple random days in the middle of the week.
One of the most important keys to a long distance relationship is to keep a positive attitude. There may be weeks or months at a time that you go without seeing the other, and those times can get you in a rut pretty fast. Keep your mind focused on the next time you get to see each other and you’ll watch the days fly by. Be grateful that you have someone and realize that there are a lot of others who have it worse than you.
Long distance relationships are scary, and they definitely are not ideal. However, if you feel that it’s something you want to do, then you should go for it. It may take some time getting used to but it will be worth it in the long run..