Just When You Thought Domino’s Delivery Couldn’t Get Any Better, There’s This

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Just When You Thought Domino's Delivery Couldn't Get Better, There's This

There are many places in the world that it would suck to live. The South Pole. North Korea. Donald Trump’s Alternate Reality. And one of the main reasons it’d suck to live in these places (besides the, you know, complete disregard for humans and their genitals), is the complete and utter lack of God’s eighth-day gift to the world: pizza.

And while it’s still impossible to break the boundaries of the hermit kingdom or into the mind of a sociopathic tit, one company is once again making headlines for their delivery prowess. No, they didn’t make another 14-pizza delivery to a fraternity house during a Category 3 Hurricane. Rather, the adult version of Santa Claus himself, otherwise known as the Domino’s delivery boy, will now deliver pizza to you… by canoe.

Reports The Mirror:

“Pizzas will be delivered in boxes that can float and accompanied by a lifebuoy to prevent them from meeting a watery end. Every order will be delivered by a pizza “buoy” wearing a full wetsuit. Around 112,252 slices of pepperoni have already been consumed.”

Unfortunately for us, the new waterway service is only available along the River Loose in Kent, England. But, fortunately for us, I do know for a fact that the Domino’s delivery service is run by Jesus himself. So my guess is that we should expect expansion within the next year.

[via The Mirror]

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