Johnny Manziel, America’s favorite professional partier, has vowed that he’s turning his life around. After an inexplicable trip to Mexico for the long Fourth of July weekend, Johnny announced that he’d be going sober. Why he chose Fourth of July weekend to start his new sobriety kick is beyond me, as that is one of the biggest drinking weekends of the year, but to each his own.
The only thing really missing from Johnny’s life has been Snapchat, but it appears that he has finally joined in an effort to either prove his sobriety or brag about all of the awesome shit he’s doing. I don’t understand how he hasn’t had one before today but whatever, I’m ready to witness all the debauchery that goes on in this young mans life. I also don’t believe for a second that he’s stone cold sober. I mean, just look at him.
Johnny Manziel is a person in 1994 dressing how he thinks people will dress in 2016. He's an extra in "Blank Check" pic.twitter.com/euogf7Cn0g
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) July 18, 2016
No sober man in his right mind would wear that outfit with that haircut and those sunglasses. And that’s coming from me, so you know that outfit is awful. His handle – jmanziel2 – should be followed by anyone who is interested in watching an exceptionally gifted athlete more than likely make terrible, rash decisions based on nothing more than inhibition fueled by drugs and alcohol.