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I’ve Never Wanted Anything As Much As I Want This Champagne Bong

I've Never Wanted Anything As Much As I Want This Champagne Bong

Yes, I want new irons. Of course I’d like some new fall buttondowns. And yeah, a Tempurpedic mattress pad sounds phenomenal right now. But those are all just simple “wants” on a list of things I’ll put off buying. But this new Champagne Bong? I need it. I mean, just imagine the hashtags I can use with it:

#SoBongThatItsRight
#ChampagneCampaign
#Champleasure
#LetMeSeeThatBong (sung to the tune of “The Thong Song” by Sisqo)
#BongBongBongBongBong (again, sung to the tune of “The Thong Song” by Sisqo)

This company, apparently called Chambong, came out with what everyone always wanted: a beer bong but for champagne drinkers. They describe it as follows:

The first edition Chambong is certain to be a collectors item. Made of dishwasher safe, borosilicate glass, it comes with a limited edition deluxe packaging, surround by a custom cut foam mold. Hurry, because there is a limited 3000 run of these first editions.

Tailgating? Chambong. At the W Hotel pool after the Austin F1 race next weekend? Chambong. In bed hungover? Chambong. Just looking to get low key turnt with your squad? You guessed it — Chambong.

Like, just look at the packaging.

I've Never Wanted Anything As Much As I Want This Champagne Bong

Their slogan is literally, “Because it’s awesome.” That’s the reasoning I use for 99% of the dumb shit I do in my life. It’s like they huddled a bunch of scientists up in a lab and said, “Let’s make a product that we know Will deFries will promote for free on noted website Post Grad Problems,” and this is what they came up with.

If anyone wants to contribute to buying me one, just Venmo me with the note, “#SoBongThatItsRight” and I’ll send you a Snapchat of myself taking some champs to the face upon its arrival.

[via Cosmo]

Image via Instagram — Chris Merrill

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Will deFries

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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