I’ve Had Enough Of Your Early Season Football Predictions

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I've Had Enough Of Your Early Season Football Predictions

Most people fall into the camp of either being a college football fan or an NFL fan. Short of those who don’t really care too much about the sport, which is completely un-American, people are generally pretty passionate about their choice. Personally, I’m a college football die hard, and there’s absolutely no way to change my mind. Some of my buddies won’t even watch college ball and are NFL purists, citing the level of the play. While people are in the differing camps, one thing can be said about both: these fucking early season predictions need to stop.

Week after week, year after year, all of the blowhards that grace the channels like ESPN and NFL network come onto our televisions, preaching to us about who the best teams and players are, and where everything will end up at season’s end. I’m not naïve enough to not understand that the Kirk Herbstreit’s and Joey Galloway’s (who is an absolute idiot) of the world are on TV talking about these asinine predictions purely to start conversation, but that’s not what happens. All of the fans from across the football universe hear these predictions and ideas two weeks into the season, and decide right then and there that Herby’s word is gospel. There’s no need to start any further back than this season.

Living in Phoenix and listening to sports radio constantly like I do (I drive for Uber part time, more on that later), it was beaten into my head how great Arizona State was going to be this year. It got to the point where good ol’ Herby picked them in the final four and another writer for Sports Illustrated picked Mike Bercovici as a dark horse to win the Heisman. Fast forward to yesterday, where the Sun Devils are sitting at 2-2, with their only wins being close ones to Cal Poly and New Mexico State. Sticking in the valley of the sun, the Phoenix area is currently losing their minds over the Cardinal’s 3-0 start. While they’ve looked phenomenal, and I got to witness a 47-7 drubbing of San Francisco last Sunday, let’s pump the brakes. In 2012, the Cards started out 4-0 and everyone rejoiced. Aaaaaaaaand they went on to lose 11 of their next 12 and wound up picking in the top 5. Let’s not count our chickens too soon, Arizona.

Even worse than preseason predictions are the early season thoughts. Looking back to last year’s college football opener, Texas A&M put an absolute beating on South Carolina, led by Kenny Hill, or “Kenny Trill” as he was douche-ily trademarked after week 1. Everyone moved A&M into their top 10, labeled them a contender, and anointed Kenny Hill the heir to Johnny Football’s throne. What no one realized was that South Carolina wasn’t a good team, Hill wouldn’t even end the season as the starter, and he’s currently playing on a different team in the state of Texas (TCU).

Comparing the NFL and college situations like I am, the biggest and brightest example of jumping ahead of ourselves would be with America’s most hated QB, and Boston’s golden child, Tom Brady. After a 2-2 start that included a Monday night ass whoopin’ by the Chiefs where Brady was pulled after two picks for Jimmy Garoppolo, the Patriots and Brady were effectively dead. People like Colin Cowherd and Peter King were throwing out ideas that Tom Brady’s best days were behind him and that it was only a matter of how sharp his decline would be now. Lo and behold, one year, one Super Bowl, and an obscene stat line later, Tom Brady is still doing whatever he wants on the football field. Between these two examples, and the current poster children like Oregon, Arkansas, and Georgia Tech of crumbling to early season expectations, everyone just needs to chill. We’re only a couple weeks in, and your predictions don’t matter.

I would just like to live in a world where MVP and conference championship discussions don’t happen until November. Really, you think Carson Palmer is a top-five MVP candidate? Well guess what, he’s played three games against bad defenses, and still has to play Seattle twice. Let’s see if you’re singing that tune in week 10, guy. Supporting your team is great, and I would be personally offended if you didn’t. However, holding up your opinion like it’s the 11th commandment and shouting it from the roof tops after your team has played one game against an FCS school is something that boils my blood. I’m asking, nay, begging all of you, to just please wait until at least the half way point of the season before you start preaching to me about how great your team is or how many awards your favorite player is going to win. A torn ACL here, and four-game losing streak there, and you’ll sound like a buffoon. With that said, Leonard Fournette for Heisman.

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