Not sure how I’m just finding out about this, but today marks the celebration of National Scotch Day, according to National Day Calendar. I know full and well that I’m not alone when I say that all national food days can go straight to hell, but I’d like to consider the merits of this one.
Now, the main factors that separate scotch from whiskey are 1) it’s made in Scotland (you should know that much), and 2) it’s made from malted barley. So, yes: in America, we celebrate a beverage that, by definition, is un-American.
At the same time, though, scotch has gained some legitimacy on our pop culture scene since the turn of the millennium, so much so that the “Scotland” part has essentially been lost in translation. Let’s take a look at the fictional, quintessential all-American men who have made scotch the ultimate man’s drink.
“Here it goes down, down into my belly.”
“Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.” Therefore, Lagavulin is the only way to go, according to this anti-government man who works for the government.
Even health superfreak Chris Trager approves of Ron’s particular choice in hard liquor.
And despite his fury against all things not American during his trip to the United Kingdom, this American legend was more than delighted at the chance to tour his favorite scotch distillery in Scotland.
Okay, okay. After reviewing the evidence, I officially redact my comments dismissing this holiday. Besides, doesn’t this just give me another reason to get
hella turnt responsibly drunk on a Monday night?.
For a complete list of “holidays” that shouldn’t exist, click here and be sure to mark your calendars accordingly.
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