======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Most people are too wrapped up in their lives to realize it when the first of April rolls around, but I have nothing better to do than prank those around me. That being said, there are some pranks that only the ruthless, job-hating individual would attempt.
- Tell your hopeful, optimistic mother that you are dating someone. If you really want your parents to cut you out of the will, tell them that you think they’re “the one.”
- Send a picture of an unbelievably attractive person to a desperate single friend and say, “My friend said you’re pretty hot. Wanna meet up for a drink?”
- Set up several Tinder dates for your roommate after stealing their phone.
- Quit your job in a dramatic fashion at work. Don’t forget to be overwhelmingly honest with the insults you shout on your way out the door. Just come back tomorrow.
- Admit to your suspiciously overweight coworker that you know they’re pregnant with a love child. Bonus points if they’re actually expecting.
- Spread an STD rumor about yourself to anyone that has rolled in the hay with you.
- Call your roommate at work and tell them their dog has died suddenly. Be sure you tell them you did everything you could, but Fido got into the vodka and you didn’t want to ruin the party.
- Put a bunch of dirty dishes, laundry, or garbage in your roommate’s bed. My father actually did this to us growing up, but guess who is squeaky clean now? Maybe your roommate will change, too.
- Call your parents and ask for bail money. If they laugh, count down from five and then say, “Call disconnected”.
- Light your building on fire. Totally funny.
- Put a whoopee cushion under your large coworker’s chair. We all know you still have one from 7th grade.
- Tell the intern they’re getting a promotion and will be hired full time.
- Call your parents and cry while admitting that you’re an alcoholic. Just kidding, because they already believe that.
- Take your ex back for the day. Joke’s on them. See #4.
- Letting the air out of your coworker’s tires, or just slash them to shreds.
- Create a sketchy, bloody crime scene on the side of your car. Drive around or just park in your normal work spot, either one.
- Sext your boss from a fake number. Ask any psycho girl ever; there are plenty of Apps to generate new and fake phone numbers.
- Spike the coffee with moonshine.
- Tell your buddy his girlfriend is cheating on him. With his dad.
- Delete the entire DVR queue from your roommate’s TV.
- Treat your coworker to a homemade breakfast. Fry up a little soy bacon for his annoying and feminine soy allergy.
- Surprise, fake vacation tickets for your coworker. The real surprise is that they now hate you.
- Set up your annoyingly single friends up for a blind date. They will actually be blinded by the gremlin they’re getting set up with.
- Steal your coworker’s parking pass before the end of the day. Have fun paying $25 to exit the parking garage, sucker.
The possibilities are quite literally endless. By endless, do I mean friendships? No. It will end friendships, but if you want a straight path to jobless, homeless, friendless April, try any of the above.
#6 Everyone loves a little barnyard action