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I’m Back, You Sons Of Bitches

I'm Back, You Sons Of Bitches

Just like Francis Underwood at the end of the Season Two Premiere of “House of Cards,” did you think I’d forgotten you? Perhaps you hoped I had.

Perhaps you thought you won with your chants of #FireJayTas in the comments section. Maybe you assumed Mossad finally caught up to me, and I got drafted into the Israeli Army. Or possibly I was waiting in line for the new Nintendo theme park to open, on some kind of quest to get ridiculous ball park food, or maybe, just maybe, I shit my pants so bad that I fled to a remote monastery in the Himalayas where nobody could see my shame.

You’re all completely and 1,000 percent correct. All the above, and then some.

How? It doesn’t matter. Why? You don’t give a shit. Who? JayTas. Where? A little town called Nunya Damn Business. Or Brooklyn. Whatever.

The fact of the matter is, I made some mistakes in the last year or so. Life got in the way of me, for lack of a better word, actually living. I forgot what was important, and I chased the wrong things. I experienced some insane highs and rock-bottom lows, things that nobody should experience, let alone someone who’s in their early-to-mid twenties trying to figure out their place in the world, in the biggest city in the world.

Specifically, the greatest city in the world with pizza and bagels that own anything that you think qualify as pizza or a bagel. What you think is pizza and bagels? That’s pure shit. Your taste buds are bad and you should feel bad.

I also got lazy. What do I mean by that? There was a time when I thought my best articles here were behind me, and I was kinda just cruising. People noticed. You, the audience, noticed. And I’m really, really sorry about that. I gotta tell you: Depression really, really, really sucks. It affects everything around you, and you don’t even realize it until it’s (almost) too late. It honestly feels like you’re sinking every minute you’re out of bed, your senses are completely overwhelmed by crushing anxiety, and you don’t even feel like yourself anymore. You feel like you’re a passenger on an airplane; you have no control over what the pilot is doing, all you can do is look out the window and watch. Someone else is calling the shots, and you’re just along for the ride.

There were some incredibly good times too. My job ended in May, but I landed on my feet a week later and got a new one. I made some amazing friends and renewed friendships with old ones. I got help and learned how to make myself better. I even had a threesome in there at one point. With two real live women that I didn’t have to pay. But the most important thing is… I got better. I asked for help. I wasn’t afraid. And I’m on the road to a better, more emotionally-complete self.

What does this mean to you? Well, if you’ve gotten this far, you should get something out of the deal, right?

You’re gonna get much better quality articles, even if it’s my news coverage. You deserve nothing less than my best.

You’re gonna get more original articles, which is how I started on PGP, and all the wacky, silly, zany shit that comes to my brain.

I will absolutely be doing a “Mean Comments” video. Look out for it sometime in the near future.

But most importantly…I’m gonna tell you the truth, about everything that happened to me in the last year that took me from normal, to rock bottom, and back up again. No punches pulled, no dishonesty, no sugar-coating the truth and, most importantly, no more bullshit.

I’m sorry for giving this audience, as well as my family, friends, Grandex collaborators and loved ones, any less than my best. That won’t happen again. Let me make it up to you.

Join me, won’t you?

#FireJayTas

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