Cards on the table, I’m new to the dating and relationship world. That’s not because some girl crushed me, leaving me with little self-confidence but rather because I never wanted to be someone’s better half. Before now, as a recent graduate, I never felt the need to have someone to talk with constantly or spend my Saturday nights with. Does that make me a lone wolf? I can’t call it. What I do know is that so far, I’ve spent my time working on me to ensure that I’m a complete person alone before entering a committed relationship. Well, that’s at least what I told my parents when they asked why I still didn’t have a date for Christmas dinner. Truth is, previously all I needed was some buddies and a bottle of Jack Daniels and I was content.
Here’s the problem bestowed upon me. All of my friends are moving on, leaving shenanigan-filled nights behind them for nights and weekends with their significant other. Realizing that perhaps it was time for me too to enter the relationship world, I thought what better place to find someone than the Internet, because that’s how the world works in 2016. After exhausting Tinder with no luck, I figured I would give Bumble a try.
Now for an app with so much hype, the quality of talent is mind blowing. As an average looking dude, not in the best shape of my life, I knew that the only way to land a woman would be to overachieve. Hell, I’ve been over achieving since I got out of the womb. Walk and talk before my peers? You bet. Get into a decent university with grades so close to the cutoff, decimal points determined my admission? Once again another check in the win column. My life is just a playlist of over achievement.
Like everything before in my life, I was seemingly overachieving on Bumble too. A couple cute matches a day slowly boosted my confidence to new found levels. Now here’s the problem. If you are unfamiliar with Bumble, people match based on appearance like Tinder, with the catch being that the girl has to message you first. That’s the problem. 24 hours rolled by with every girl and no message. Did they accidentally swipe right, securing our match, and just waited out the time until we unmatched? More than likely, but you can’t tell me that every girl I matched with wasn’t at least a little interested in what I brought to the table. Sure, I got the occasional “Hello, how are you?” But that didn’t cut it for me. I was looking for the home run swing like I had been using for years on Tinder.
Maybe it’s a difference between girls and guys, I don’t know. Psychologically, maybe from the time of birth until the day we meet our last girlfriend, it is just a steady stream of rejection. Girls don’t have that problem. If they want to go home with a boy, they will. Maybe not the one they originally wanted, but hey, the scoreboard doesn’t have faces right? What it boils down to is being able to put yourself out there. What I do know is that if you’re going to match with a guy on Bumble, who cares if you strike out, at least take a swing and shoot him a message. Worst case, we don’t respond and you just bounce back with a different guy. Maybe Bumble isn’t for me, but maybe neither is the relationship life. All I do know is that as my friends move on with their relationships, you can find me at the local bar, Jack and Coke in hand, asking any girl that will listen if they wanna go halves on a baby. .
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