As a red-blooded male, I can’t imagine the stress that must go through a woman’s head while choosing her cast to act as bridesmaids. For guys, I imagine the process goes something like this:
“Sure, man. Sounds good.”
“Awesome. Now watch this drive.”
And then the deed is done. But as I’ve written about previously, choosing bridesmaids is much more calculated and precise. What’s the order going to be? Do you have to include Sarah even though she probably shouldn’t have included you in her wedding and you haven’t spoken since? What about Emily? Because if you include Emily, you’re going to have to include Grace. It’s a fucking mess.
But now there’s a solution. Granted, it’s a really expensive and dumb solution. But a solution nonetheless. You can now use the site BridesmaidForHire.com to actually hire a professional bridesmaid to crush all of the necessary duties on your big day. Yeah, seriously. The average package will run you $1,000 to $1,200, but if you’re really strapped for friends and/or money isn’t an issue, you can drop two grand on a bridesmaid who will do it all. It’s called a “Bridesmaid By Your Side” and it’s as absurd as you think it would be.
Looking to feel confident and stress-free on your wedding day? Finding that all your BFF’s are either living half way across the country or just growing apart from you? Hiring a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you’re renting a friend for the day. I’ll be there for you throughout your entire pre-wedding adventure, helping you manage the chaos and your to-do list. I’ll also be there for you on the day of the wedding, walking down the aisle & standing up beside you at the altar as your go-to gal pal & professional bridesmaid.
They can also help with speech writing and Bridesmaid Boot Camp for any of your other friends that need guidance. Rest assured, if you need all of the above, you either have really shitty friends who don’t care about you, or you’ve isolated them all to the point where they all hate your stinkin’ guts.
The website was started by the 26-year-old Jen Glantz who is also the author of All My Friends Are Engaged. While this is probably a ploy to sell more copies of her book, I actually hope this will backfire and she’ll find herself knee-deep in bridesmaid bullshit at several over-the-top weddings over the next year. She is also known for her viral Craigslist post that started this entire idea, titled “Professional Bridesmaid” in New York City. She claimed the following responsibilities:
“Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding day.
“Catching the bouquet and then following that moment up with my best Miss America-like ‘Omg, I can’t believe this’ speech.
“Doing the electric and the cha-cha slide.”
So, yeah, she knows what she’s doing. Just watch the video, which has to be a joke considering it was put out by Refinery29 and not her actual site.
I don’t know why, but I respect the hustle out of this girl. .