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I Had To Ask A Stranger To Stop Watching Porn On Our Public Computer Yesterday

Man Caught Watching Porn

Yesterday started out like most other Mondays. I went to work ready to crank out another productive workday, and then things took a turn.

To be clear, this Monday ended up getting weird. Yesterday, I had to ask an elderly man to stop watching pornography on one of our public computers. I never thought part of my professional tasks (I work in retail) at work would include asking a grown man, and presumably somebody’s grandfather, to turn off his pornography. However now I can officially add, “Czar of Pornography” to my job resume.

It all started when a coworker spotted our video-watching villain, in plain view of everyone, casually watching porn. Bemused by the sight, and with a shit eating grin, he eagerly showed me this old dude just sitting there calmly watching a porno. We both were flabbergasted that this man was just sitting there, out in the open, with a screen full of T & A.

Just to show you all how out in the open this porn was, here’s a visual aid.

via GIPHY

Now imagine if in the above visual, Captain Piccard of the Star Trek enterprise was facing the wall, exposing his back as well as the computer monitor, for all of the world to enjoy. That’s exactly how visible this full screen of porn was.

To make matters even worse, this wasn’t any softcore HBO after dark pornography either. This was hardcore action which lead up to a red headed minx getting her sphincter destroyed from behind in what looked to be a hospital bed.

As I stood there in shock, I couldn’t help but ponder a few questions…

How often does this guy casually watch porn in public?

Is his wife so strict he’s forced to roam the world looking for public computers to pursue his pornographic endeavors?

Could this be a sick prostate exam fantasy of his?

Did he pay for this?

At what age do you stop giving enough fucks to pull off this kind of stunt?

And most importantly, why in the hell wasn’t this savage using his smart phone?

Yes, you read that last question correctly. This man had an iPad-sized phone clipped onto his hip and was still watching porn on a highly visible public desktop, even with free Wi-Fi available.

After about three to five minutes of just standing there giggling in bewilderment at this mad man, I decided that this had gone on long enough. It was time to go face-to-face with the purveyor of porn himself and tell him to shut it down…

via GIPHY

I slowly walked towards the older gentleman until I stood next to him for what felt like an eternity. My presence didn’t even phase him, and for a brief second, I was worried he may even pat on the open seat next to him extending an invitation to watch along.

As I stood there distracted by the hardcore close up of some stranger’s massive hog gliding in and out of some woman’s body, I managed to squeak out, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to please turn that off.”

Slowly he turned his head and looked at me like I’m the psycho in this situation. Disgruntled that I had disturbed his quality PC time, he didn’t even speak to me. He just gave me a puzzled look, that even without saying any words communicated, “Why in the fuck does it matter to you, asshole?”

So I then had to follow up with an explanation that kids, or anyone else for that matter, could see this and it was not appropriate to have on.

Still, not a single word was said.

He slowly, and I mean very slowly, exited the tab. He even took his time to rewind it back a few seconds to replay a scene.

And then the film was no more. And still without saying anything, this silent porn-watching grandpa simply got up, walked outside, and began to smoke a cigarette.

Thanks for forgetting to put up the website blockers, IT. You were the real MVP.

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PostGradShibby

Same old Shibbster. Founder of #MargLife and the blumpkin beer craze. ShibbyTFM@Gmail.com

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