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I Don’t Know If Rob Lowe Really Needs An Assistant But I’d Like It To Be True

Rob Lowe Is Hiring An Assistant Whose Salary Will Put Yours To Shame

From checking our bank accounts every Sunday morning, it’s no surprise that most of us wish we were paid more. With an average median salary of around $50K and student loans that are typically more than half of that amount, it’s no wonder that we’re used to thinking twice before purchasing a new first date outfit. If you’re considering job hopping to increase your salary, however, you’re in luck because an excellent job posting just arrived. The bad news? You’ll be a personal assistant. The good news? You’ll be Rob Lowe’s personal assistant, and you’ll be getting paid $70,000 a year to do it. While it’s only still “reported” and not confirmed by the star himself, he addressed his staffing needs on Jimmy Kimmel, and since he didn’t deny it, I’m assuming he wants me to add “Paid Rob Lowe Fangirl” to my LinkedIn profile.

Since I’ve had a crush on Rob Lowe since The West Wing, which only grew stronger with my Parks & Rec addiction, you’d better believe that not only am I applying. But I’m willing to cash out my 401k to hop on a plane to L.A. and hope that if I get this role, I don’t get immediately fired for fawning over him day and night. Of course, the role comes with some specific demands that don’t include pretending to be Rashida Jones in an attempt to seduce your new boss. After all, he is a Hollywood star, so he’s bound to have some excessive demands, right? The requirements for the job include scheduling Lowe’s haircuts before each episode he acts in, informing the staff of Lowe’s needs, such as a warmed up Jacuzzi or a massage, the strength to lift 25 pounds, and, of course, getting his coffee.

Um….is that all? I was expecting some ridiculous demands, but honestly, I’ve had more required of me at my first job in fast food when I was 16 – and I was making a grand total of $6 an hour. Unless you’re an engineer, you usually need at least one advanced degree to come close to touching $70k a year plus benefits, but this dream job is clearly the exception to the rule. The only real negative is that while the salary is high, it isn’t high for L.A., but considering that I’d take this job if I had to live in a box, my application is about to be the first one in his mailbox.

Image via Shutterstock

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Steph W.

Steph W. is a current grad student with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. E-mail: recruitchairtsm@gmail.com

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