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How To Throw Your Own Damn Brunch Party

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Brunch is the badge of honor you wear after a long, hard week. If one of the prevailing comforts of all time is breakfast food, then add waking up late and drinking vast quantities of alcohol before noon and you have one hell of a day lined up (followed by the requisite nap, of course).

Unless you know of a restaurant that has an unlimited brunch bar, all those drinks with your otherwise relatively inexpensive meal of Eggs Benny, bacon, and home fries are going to add up disturbingly fast. And no one — especially this Jew — wants that.

The next best thing to completely destroying an unlimited brunch all afternoon? Doing it in the comfort of your own home with all your friends present. It’s cheaper and arguably more fun than throwing a dinner party. Unlike a dinner party, everyone will want to go home to nap after and you can just crash on whatever still clean surface is in sight. But what do you serve when all you’re accustomed to is the requisite kegs and eggs morning parties? Simply have everyone make their own damn drinks and everyone goes home blacked out and happy.

Step 1: DIY Bloody Mary Bar

Offer a make your own Bloody Mary bar. It’s a twist on the classic favorite, and it allows everyone to personalize his or her hangover cure. What you’ll need:

• Vodka (doesn’t need to be decent, just pour it in a decanter and you’re good to go)
• Low sodium tomato juice (Trader Joe’s has a great vegetable juice that works well for this)
• Hot sauce
• Salt and pepper shakers
• Worcestershire sauce
• Bacon
• Bell peppers
• Green olives
• Celery
• Lemon slices

Step 2: DIY Screwdrivers Or Mimosas

While in the DIY spirit, offer a pitcher of orange juice along with another decanter of vodka (again, you’re masking the brand so it doesn’t need to be great) along with bottles of champagne. This way, people can make their own mimosas and screwdrivers as they please.

Another twist on the mimosa is drinking a Corona with orange juice. Drink the Corona down to the nape of the bottle, add orange juice, shake with your thumb over the opening, and then drink the slightly tangier option.

Step 3: Food

The basics should be pancakes, waffles, or stuffed French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and then some form of fruit dish. If you’re a better person than I am, you’ll also supply a DIY omelette bar with an array of fixings, such as ham, onions, mushrooms, spinach, cheeses, blah blah blah. But then someone has to make them and the host will probably be too busy drinking heavily and mingling. It’s her party, after all.

If you want to get fancier, try these bacon, egg, and toast cups from none other than the queen WASP herself, Martha Stewart.

Another more viable option? Make the basics and get a bunch of stuff off the Taco Bell $1 breakfast menu. Done and done.

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sarahsolfails

Writer in NYC. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough."

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