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Science Reveals The Easiest Way To Flirt And It’s Simpler Than You Think

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Unless you’re one of those phenomenal people who believe dinosaurs and humans walked the planet at the same time, you probably value science as one of the intangible yet vital aspects of reality. Good for you. Once again our white-coated Dexters have been discovering some especially useful tips in the laboratory of late.

Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University (St. Louis),has just qualified as my #WCW given the research she’s just released. Her team conducted experiments on how to flirt effectively, or, not suffer a huge boner-killer when that hottie you’re trying to feel up at the bar rejects you. Perhaps the best part of her findings can be summed up as such: “…it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles.” Oh Cleetus, praise Jesus. This is great news for any of us who need a Hudson or Mayfair Instagram filter for graciously go from a hard five to a soft seven. I am lucky enough to have two eyeballs exactly where they should be and (after $20k worth of dental work) a decent smile, so for me, this is the light at the end of the snuggling-with-my-body-pillow tunnel. Turns out those hot bitches at the bar who won’t give you the time of day are actually missing out on opportunities. Redemption is sweet.

Some of the research is kinda like “no duh.” Oh, that dude keeps touching my waist? Yeah, I think he may want to bone. However, it’s a bit trickier for guys. The authors acknowledge that guys can’t just go around touching women all willy-nilly, at least not guys who don’t want to be arrested. Turns out, the best mechanisms for dudes involve glancing at their future mate (shocker), and utilizing the “space maximization” technique, aka peacocking, aka taking up as much space as possible. Go home and practice your power stance, boys.

[via The Week]

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Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

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