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How Did Frasier And Seinfeld Manage To Sleep With So Many Women: An Investigation

How Did Frasier And Seinfeld Manage To Sleep With So Many Women: An Investigation

Most people don’t think about the deeper meaning of the Frasier theme song. A psychiatrist by trade, Frasier himself sings, “I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs, they’re callin’ again.” Yes, on the surface you’d think that Frasier is probably eating tossed salad and scrambled eggs at a brunch where a bunch of socialites rave about the night before’s opera. But “tossed salads” and “scrambled eggs” are actually a metaphor for the people Frasier deals with on a daily basis – his troubled callers, his eccentric family, or the women he courts throughout the series.

In today’s dating landscape, it’s not uncommon for someone to ask about your “number,” i.e. how many people you’ve slept with. Whether your number is big, small, or somewhere in between, your answer could hold significant weight when someone is determining whether or not they could see themselves settling down with you. Conservatively, Dr. Frasier Crane dated and/or slept with around 57 women through the 11 seasons the program ran on NBC. Additionally, it’s estimated that Jerry Seinfeld (you know, the other most popular sitcom star of the 90s) dated and/or slept with 73 different partners throughout the show’s tenure. Those numbers are preposterous if not downright gaudy.

Can you imagine telling someone on a third date at an Italian restaurant over a plate of bolognese that you’ve been intimate with anywhere between 57 and 73 different women? You’d be blacklisted from her, her friends, and anyone in her entire social network. Most people would be scared to reveal a number in the double-digits let alone the number of a graduating class of a D-Class High School.

Upon having the realization that these two treated Seattle and New York (respectively) as their personal stomping grounds for the better part of a decade, I simply had to think it out further and come up with an answer as to how these two made such a killing.

I. The Proximity

Frasier (based in Seattle after leaving Boston) lives in a top-20 city based on population while Jerry lived in the number one city in the United States, New York City. Obviously, these two didn’t have any dating apps to rely on so they had to get their work done in the old-fashioned way: talking to women in real life. Shocking, I know.

While Frasier just sat at Cafe Nervosa pounding cappuccinos, Jerry seemed to be scouting with his head on a swivel from Tom’s Restaurant. Obviously, their extended network of friends in two of the busiest cities in the nation lent them to meeting many more women than if they were living in your Des Moines or your Wichitas. People that lived in Des Moines and Wichita in the 90s probably only had sex with, like, ten people rather than five dozen. Losers.

II. Their Careers

This is where these two began to set themselves apart from the pack. Their careers put them in the public eye – Frasier through his popular radio show and Jerry through his on-stage appearances as a stand-up comic. Money aside (we’ll get to that later), these two likely became somewhat well-known in the small pockets of their cities. Having a career where you’re the cock of the walk is going to elevate you in an unconnected 90s society. It gives you the advantage one needs while everyone else is simply slaving away at desk jobs (or, you know, sleeping under their desk like George).

III. Their Looks

Sure, on the surface, these two aren’t exactly lookers. Frasier, out of shape and bald, still gives off a very imposing and important feel when you watch him speak with his dominant voice. And despite Jerry Seinfeld’s scraggly body and ridiculous hair, he sure as hell knew how to dress. Faded jeans and an oversized shirt? Game over. He’s pretty much the sole reason norm core became a fad and would still make a killing if he lived in New York to this day (albeit in Brooklyn).

What they lacked in structural handsomeness they made up for in dope threads like squash uniforms, top coats, and puffy shirts. You know, bringing more to the table than the overplayed jeans and button down look that plagues our country to this day.

How’d they afford these duds? Well.

IV. Their Money

It always comes down to money, doesn’t it? Conservative estimates put Frasier’s condominium between $2.5 and $2.65 million while Jerry’s apartment on The Upper West Side would have had a monthly rent hovering around $2,700 for a one-bedroom. And please keep in mind that these prices are in the mid-to-late 90s and early 2000s, so yeah, they definitely made more money than you do. When you start factoring in Frasier’s trips to Aspen and tickets to every gala Seattle had to offer, it soon becomes evident that you just can’t expect to roll around in the same crowd as him.

So the reason you’re not sleeping with as many women as these two 1990s casanovas? Well, you’re simply not famous (or rich) enough to play at that level. And you’re not a character on a fictional television show, either. That always helps.

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Will deFries

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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