You don’t really need to hear my introduction recapping all of the goddamn articles about Baseball food I’ve written in the last few weeks, right? We’ve seen the Bacon Donut Dog, the Churro Dog, that abomination of a Bloody Mary from the Minnesota Twins, and more.
Well, the Houston Astros aren’t going to let their in-state, AL West, Lone Star Series rivals, the Texas Rangers, have all the fun with their all-bacon and all-fried food concession stands this season. They’re rolling out something incredible that’s gonna rethink the way we look at how we eat fried chicken. The Houston Astros are putting fried chicken in a WAFFLE CONE. FRIED CHICKEN LIKE ICE CREAM. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
— Cut4 (@Cut4) March 27, 2015
Good lord. Fried Chicken and Mashed Potatoes on the go. My heart is beating uncontrollably…though that might just be my arteries preemptively clogging themselves.
It’s simple enough. You take a waffle cone. Shove it full of mashed potatoes. Put some chicken in it. Then put chicken all over the top. Douse that shit with Honey Mustard and call it a day. It’s portable chicken and waffles. My eyes have seen the glory.
Perhaps we’re one step closer to making Ron Swanson’s dream come true: Eating an entire cone of meat.
Even though this might have too much “non-meat” for Mr. Swanson, you have to give the Astros credit for stepping up the snack game. I mean, what else would you use a waffle cone for, if not to shove meat and potatoes in it? Ice Cream? Fuck you, ice cream. That’s bush-league..
[via MLB Cut 4]