When your Monday through Friday, 9-5 fails to fulfill your high expectations, it can be difficult to mask the emotions you feel in the everyday occurrences that just irk you to your very core. Damn you, Randall, and your blasting Billy Idol playlist! Why?!
But when a job becomes a paycheck, all sanity is sacrificed for those beloved dollar bills. Here are a few crucial facial expressions you need to practice before you lose all control.
When coworkers and bosses are hurriedly running around the office, don’t be the guy with the glazed-over eyes chilling in the corner on his computer. Use this expression when you don’t want to look like the lazy asshole. After all, Facebook does take some concentration and catching up on your Twitter feed can be real hard work.
What do you get for laying on the couch all day Sunday watching football and reruns? One pissed off Monday morning with a fresh dose of “my new life sucks” and a side of “is it Friday yet?” Rather than sorely rushing past your coworkers to make it to your little hole of hell, practice smiling. Even if the thought of filling out another purchase form makes you throw up a little in your mouth, accept the assignment with a smile so as to appear content.
Planning on leaving early on Friday? Be strategic and use this look on Thursday afternoon. If anyone asks, you’re not feeling 100%. Take the high road and come in on Friday, expression in place. Sympathetic coworkers will say, “Wow he/she’s a real trooper for coming in this morning.” When 2 p.m. rolls around, make your move with the boss man and ask to dip out a little early and you’re home free!
Uh oh. Here comes another dreadfully long story about the boss’s granddaughter. You know, the one who earned 2nd place in the school spelling bee and learned to ride a bike by age 7? Yes, the average one. While your boss seems completely ignorant to her grandchild’s basicness, the look on your face cannot disagree.
Whether you work in an office of seven or 95, perfecting these phony emotions is essential if you plan on maintaining employment. Didn’t you learn anything in college? Selling yourself is key.