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Hate To Say It, But Your Vibrator Is Probably Spying On You

Hate To Say It, But Your Vibrator Is Probably Spying On You

Based on the series of unfortunate events that is our world order over the past few years, it’s clear that this whole “human rights” thing is some grade-A, Oscar Meyer baloney. We associate the “golden rule” with DJT’s pee scandal, ethics are blown to the wind like paper lanterns in a basic bitch wedding, and there are so many feminist definitions to “scared spaces” I’m not even sure they exist anymore. But now it’s gone to another level. Because as if the world isn’t already ending on a daily basis, now even our vibrators are turning against us.

According to The Guardian, the Canadian vibrator manufacturer We-Vibe collected customer data about temperature, vibration, and intensity without their knowledge or consent. After the data was collected, it was then sent back to Standard Innovation, We-Vibe’s parent company, where it revealed intimate information about the user’s sexual habits.

Being in marketing technology, I unfortunately do see how this data can become useful to a marketer once in the hands of the company. You know that my body temperature has to be precisely 99.4 degrees Fahrenheit in order to climax and that I’m scared to use the highest intensity vibration because I’m afraid it’ll permanently alter my vagine. Now you market your other products to me that, because of my preferences, I’ll now be more apt to buy. Tou-effing-che.

…Until you get fucked by the law. Which you did. Hard. And not even a vibrator compares to that D.

[via The Guardian]

Image via Shutterstock

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