Flying is a nightmare. There’s no longer such a thing as a ‘cheap’ flight, perks like free bags and drinks don’t even exist on certain airlines, and coupling that with baggage weight requirements, long security lines, and the ‘extra-special’ probings I always seem to get make even a short flight an all-day affair.
Another nightmare of mine? In-stadium proposals. Whenever the ‘Kiss Cam’ comes up, if it lingers on one couple for too long, I break out in a cold, nervous sweat. There’s nothing more douche-chill inducing than watching two people get engaged in the middle of a Nets-Grizzlies game in the middle of November. How romantic! The in-house DJ is playing Jagged Edge’s ‘Let’s Get Married!’ What a thrill! And at the next time-out, you two jerkoffs will be jumping up and down like maniacs during the Tee-Shirt toss. You make me sick.
I’m not sure how I’d handle being on a flight where a proposal took place, but this story is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night: an Austrian man planned an entire, elaborate proposal and in-flight wedding on an Austrian Airlines flight to Athens, Greece.
Excuse me for a second, I’m gonna go hurl in the motion sickness bag provided in the seat-back pocket.
A 36-year-old man named Jürgen Bogner was sick of hearing his then-girlfriends hints (read: whining) about wanting to get married after all her ‘girlfriends got married in the last month,’ so he decided to go all-out and plan the “best” wedding ever. So the guy got an engagement ring, a wedding dress, flowers, wedding bands, a violinist and an officiant to perform the ceremony.
“I wanted to do a big thing,” he added. “Because you only do this once in a lifetime and in my opinion it has to be great. It’s the best day of your life.”
Hey, 19D? Can I borrow your barf bag? Mine’s full and I’m gonna blow chunks again.
Dude, mistake number one was buying your wife’s wedding dress FOR her. If you didn’t catch shit for that already, you will in the very near future. Granted, she looked fine as hell in it, but still. I’ve watched enough ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ to know that’s a bad move.
Next, can’t the pilot perform the ceremony? Waste of a thousand bucks, bro.
And mistake number three? I’ll let the newly-anointed Mrs. Jurgen Bogner, Nathaly Eiche, tell it:
“The people in front of me starting singing Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You’ and they started looking at me,” she told ABC News. “But I didn’t realize this was meant for me.”
Gimme every barf bag you got. BLEUGHHHHHH.
I would’ve preferred Jagged Edge over Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You,’ but then again, I haven’t been able to listen to that song (and 90 percent of music) since the ultimate flash-in-the-pan sensation ‘Glee’ took that gem down in one of their ‘very special episodes.’
After the wedding, which somehow included the bride’s father walking her down the aisle (Seriously? She didn’t catch her dad going through security and sitting at the same gate as her? Not so observant.), the couple (probably) proceeded to baggage claim, where their bags were the ‘last fucking bags off the plane, EVERY TIME’ and then culminated in the Hertz rental car ‘losing’ their reservation and no longer having a mid-size car, forcing them to upgrade to a full-size car at a premium.
The affair was catered by the Cinnabon in Terminal D. .
[via ABC News]
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