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Guy Calls Police Because He’s Too High, Found In Pile Of Doritos

Guy Calls Police Because He’s Too High, Found In Pile Of Doritos

Get Jimmy McMillan in here, because some guy in Ohio is just too damn high.

The 22-year old man, who hotboxed in his vehicle perhaps a little too liberally last Friday afternoon, called police to tell them that he was, in fact, too high. Per Fox8, when police arrived at his home at approximately 5:20 p.m. (4:20 p.m. CDT), they found him on the floor, in the fetal position, and surrounded by his closest friends: Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers, and Chips Ahoy cookies.

“According to a police report, the man told the officer that he couldn’t feel his hands because he smoked too much weed,” which I suppose is problematic when you’re surrounded by Doritos, Goldfish, and chocolate chip cookies.

After handing an officer his car keys, they recovered a glass pipe, rolling papers, roaches, and a jar full of weed.

Such a shame, though. I mean, he was so prepared for a solid Friday night and now he’s facing drug possession charges. At least he has some comfort food to get him through this difficult time.

[via Fox 8]

Image via Shutterstock

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lnsayers

My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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